


Only Yours

by UsagichanP



Series: The Foster-Greens Live the California Dream (ish) [2]
Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Attempted Seduction, Car Sex, Celebration sex, Dry Humping, Ethan calls out double standards, Ethan is a feminist and woman respecter no I do not take criticism, F/M, Groping, Hickeys, Implied Oral Sex, Implied Sexual Content, Increasingly Weird Metaphors, Introducing one of the most hateable fanfic characters ever, Jealousy, Lex fucking tops, Lex is thirsty and lowkey passive aggressive but it's understandable, Possessive Sex, Smoking, Stalking, This gets STEAMY k, Use condoms nyall, but since it's M rating it's technically not explicit... still not super sfw tho, double standards, safe sex, there's a fucking Megamind reference in this. in the year of our lord 2020, this was... longer than expected, wholesome interactions between Ethan and Hannah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UsagichanP/pseuds/UsagichanP
Summary: After taking on a tough but lucrative project at the car garage where he worked, Ethan unfortunately attracts a snobbish, rich girl stalker named Allison who is obsessed with dating him, despite knowing he has a girlfriend. Lex, understandably rather jealous, takes action to make sure Allison knows that Ethan is hers and only hers.
Relationships: Lex Foster/Ethan Green
Series: The Foster-Greens Live the California Dream (ish) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810420
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	Only Yours

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely friends!
> 
> This fic was waaaayyyyyyyyy longer than I wanted it to be. I hope people will still read it despite its length;;  
> I hope people will still read it. 
> 
> This fic can be read by itself, but it does carry some references to the previous fic, [Cassiopeia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25006513). If you haven't read that, I recommend reading it. 
> 
> We see more of Marsh, who has a fun little dynamic with Ethan. Oh, and you will h a t e Allison. *Men's Warehouse ad voice* I guarantee it.

It had already been over half a year since the Fosters had moved to California. Though they were still living in the same shitty motel and were certainly not well-to-do (yet), they were no longer in constant fear that they would run out of money at any moment. 

When Lex wasn’t working her part-time job she often stayed with Hannah in the motel room, watching Youtube and movies while Hannah honed her surprisingly good art skills. Ethan had been working as a car mechanic for a good few months, and for the most part, he found his job fairly unexciting. But that was all about to change.

* * *

Ethan did not typically take on clients alone. Though his boss was a smart man, he usually left the physical work to his employees and ran the actual business himself. Ethan didn’t care that much; he actually liked being left to his own devices. Nothing like putting on some shitty dollar store headphones and blasting rock music while working on restoring a beautiful car back to its former glory. 

“Hey Green, can you c’mere for a sec?” His boss called out to Ethan one summer afternoon. “I have a request for you.”

Ethan took out his headphones and walked over. “What’s up Boss Man?” 

“There’s a customer out with a pretty jacked up car. Usually I’d have your coworker Dave do it because he has more experience than you, but he’s got a bad case of the flu and had to go home early.” His boss explained. “Marshall’s already busy with his own thing. Do you think you can take this on? It ain’t pretty.”

“Eh, why not.” Ethan shrugged. “I’m up for a challenge.”

  
  
  


“Hooooh, that’s one messed up car.” 

The car parked in front of Ethan was crumpled absolutely horribly, as if it had been grabbed by a giant mecha and squeezed like a fucking metal lemon. The side had been caved in, and the hood was in awful disarray as well. The windshield was badly shattered, and all the windows were at least cracked. That’s a lot of damage. So much damage that even Flex Tape couldn’t fix it. Yeah, it was  _ that _ fucked up. 

“Seriously, nobody died from this wreck? That’s a freaking miracle.” Ethan leaned inside the decimated car, trying to find any bloodstains on the upholstery. He straightened up and turned to the owner. “Uh, sorry sir. I was thinking out loud. I just mean it’s in bad condition Mr… uh…”

“Allen. Albert Allen.” The portly owner of the fucked up car practically grabbed Ethan’s hand in a crushing grip and shook it fiercely. “Yes, I’m afraid the car isn’t in tip-top condition anymore, hmm? That’s what a highway crash will do to it, of course. Apparently the crash she was in caused 2 hours of traffic!”

_ 2 fucking hours? Wow, a lot of people must have fucking hated your guts.  _ Ethan thought, pursing his lips.

“Oh, and this is my precious daughter, Allison. She’s the silly goose who crashed the car.” Mr. Allen gestured to the bored looking girl next to him. They barely even looked related; the exception being their cold sterling blue eyes. Allison was tall, made even taller with Prada heels, and her smooth tan legs seemed to go on for miles. Her obviously highlighted hair was (unfortunately for everyone who saw it) styled in beachy blonde layered curls that were sickeningly 2000s. Her newly injected lips were slick with shiny strawberry lip gloss that was more popular with middle schoolers rather than 20-year-olds. Her tits were most likely bigger than her brain (or so Ethan mused) and her skimpy designer clothes did nothing but highlight her ridiculous curves and buxom bust. Ethan swallowed heavily. 

Allison snapped her gum and put her hand on her hip. “Charmed.” She said, not sounding charmed at all. She had a bit of a Resting Bitch Face, but not in the same way as Lex. Lex’s RBF looked annoyed, if not apathetic. Allison’s RBF looked as if she was simply tired of the world, yet also exuberated an aura of spectacular snobbishness that made Ethan’s head spin. 

Allison gazed around the shop in disinterest, but stopped upon seeing Ethan. Her eyes widened, then lowered with a smirk. “It’s really nice to meet you…” She saw Ethan’s crooked nametag, even having the nerve to outright touch Ethan’s chest below his tag. “...Ethan. What a lovely name. You can just call me Ally, k?” She purred. Ethan had to stop himself from recoiling at the touch. 

“Thanks.” He replied through gritted teeth. Sure, she was hot as hell, and it was a bit difficult looking her in the eye when she was (purposefully) leaning forward for her cleavage to be on full display. But Ethan had dealt with these types of girls before. They just wanted him for his good looks, or the bragging rights of being with a “bad boy”. They didn’t actually give a shit about him, and this rich bitch was no different. Besides, he already had a girlfriend who he loved with all of his heart and soul, and he would rather  _ die _ than cheat on Lex. 

“Princess really did a number on this one this time, huh?” Mr. Allen laughed, patting the crumpled hood of the Mercedes-Benz. “It’s not the first time she’s done this. Knowing her, it’s probably not going to be the last time, is it Pumpkin?”

“Yes Daddy.” Allison said with a simper. Turning to Ethan, she leaned in and whispered, “You know, I’m a very open-minded person. I like having two daddies at once. One daddy is my father. And the other… is my daddy in a  _ different  _ way.” She winked. “Know what I mean?”

Ethan nearly choked. How the hell is he supposed to respond to that shit? Who says that, much less in public? “Uh-huh.” He mumbled. 

He tried fixing his attention on the beat-up car in front of him. “You sure beat it up alright. It’s a wonder it wasn’t totaled.” He ran his hand over the crushed side. 

“But you can fix it, right?” Allison asked anxiously. 

“I mean, yeah. But it’ll take days. Not sure how long exactly.” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “Let’s take a look at the engine.” As Ethan lifted the hood up, he was aware of Allison staring intensely at his flexing bicep. Internally he rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time a girl had ogled his muscles. Hell, he even caught Lex eyeing him up sometimes. Usually a raised eyebrow was enough to make her blush and look away (although Lex was  _ much _ more vocal on how much she loved his body when they were alone), but he had a feeling that wouldn’t work with this bitch. In fact, that’d probably just encourage her. 

“I don’t think you’ll need to replace the engine at least. It’s a little scratched, but it’s still working.” Ethan crouched to get a better look. “Lucky you. New engines can be expensive.” 

“I doubt they can be more expensive than what this car cost altogether. This beauty was $200,000!” Mr. Allen chuckled. 

Ethan shot up so fast he hit his head on the hood. He bit his lip hard to stop a string from curses coming out– Mr. Allen didn’t seem like the type to appreciate gratuitous profanity. “$200,000?” He repeated, his voice cracking slightly. That was double, if not  _ triple _ , the price of his old house and Lex’s trailer  _ combined _ . And this fat cat’s little brat wrecked it  _ this _ badly, yet they both laughed it off as if it was just a little mistake, like dropping an ice cream cone? Fucking rich people, man. 

“You ok there, Ethan? Want me to kiss it better?” Allison cooed.

“No, I’m– I’m good.” Ethan stepped away and shut the hood, pointedly avoiding Allison’s gaze. “Just a little bump.” He rubbed his head and tried not to grimace. That hurt like a motherfucker, but no way in hell was he gonna let her know that. 

“Tell you what, son. You seem like a nice kid. I know this car sure is banged up, but I’m a man with not much time on my hands. How about this: If you get this fixed within… oh, let’s say a week and a half or so, I’ll give you a bonus.” Mr. Allen said. “And yes, I know, mechanics usually don’t get tipped. But I’m a generous man. If I see a job well done, I show my appreciation.” He winked. 

Ethan’s jaw dropped. “H...how much bonus?” He stammered.

“I don’t know. Maybe a couple thou? We’ll see.” Mr. Allen clapped him on the shoulder. “You think you can do that, son?”

Ethan gulped and bit his lip. “Uh, yeah. I’ll have to get the parts and work overtime, but I’ll try my best.” Inside he was freaking out. A  _ couple thousand  _ bucks? Fuck, even if he had to work 18 hours or more a day, he could not fuck this up. He had to take this. Sure, he’d probably miss seeing Lex as much, but with a bonus like this, they wouldn't have to live paycheck to paycheck each month. 

“I’m so glad! You’re my hero!” Allison squealed, breaking Ethan from his thoughts. She hugged him from behind, and he felt her boobs pressing against his back. “I’m gonna check up on you every day to make sure you’re hard at work on my car, ok~?” 

All the elation immediately drained from his body. 

“Yeah, sure.” He tried not to cringe too hard as Allison’s hands moved up from his waist to grope and squeeze his muscular arms.  _ Jesus Christ. Is this how girls feel when a random dude is trying to feel up their boobs or butt? Fuck. I’ve never even done that, but I feel like I need to apologise to Lex. Being a girl must be rough.  _ Slowly Ethan peeled the thirsty ass girl off him, as if removing clingy wet clothes. She didn’t even seem to notice his discomfort, that airhead. 

“Great idea, Princess! Make sure our mechanic is hard at work.” Mr. Allen ruffled his daughter’s hair affably. 

_ Don’t fucking call me ‘our mechanic’, you Warbucks looking motherfucker.  _ Ethan took a deep breath. “Your car isn’t exactly, uh, common, though. It might take a while to find the exact parts for it. I mean,  _ hypothetically _ I can get the physical work done in that amount of time, but it’s a matter of finding the parts. Wouldn’t want a Frankenstein car, right?” He attempted to joke. But Allison’s eyes lit up. 

“Actually… if done right, I think that could be kinda cool. It’d be one of a kind. I was just gonna get a new car, but that’d be much more interesting. I’m a trendsetter, ya know. Who knows, maybe after I get one they’ll be a bunch of other… um, ‘Frankencars’ rollin’ down Rodeo Drive. That’d be hella awesome, right?” She flashed what she probably thought was a simple shy grin, though she looked more like a shark smiling before its meal. 

“‘Frankencars’, huh? Certainly would be unique.” Ethan thought out loud. He exhaled. “Alright, fine. I’ll talk to you about it with you Allison-”

“Ally.”

“I’ll talk about it with you  _ Ally _ tomorrow. In the meantime, you should probably head off. There’s supposed to be a thunderstorm in,” He glanced at the old clock on the wall. 6:55. The forecast said there’d be a thunderstorm at 7. “15 minutes or so. You don’t want your pretty curls and extensions to get wet, hmm?” Though a bit of sarcasm crept into his voice, Allison smiled as if it was a sincere compliment. 

“Aww, you care about me!” She beamed, and touched Ethan’s arm appreciatively.

_ No I do not. And stop fucking touching my arms, goddammit.  _ Ethan seethed internally.  _ I know they’re muscular but damn, have you ever heard of personal space, lady? I can’t wait to get home to Lex. Thank God my shift’s over.  _

“When do you start tomorrow?” Allison asked. “I’ll make sure to be there.” 

“Uh…” Ethan tapped his chin.  _ Should I give her the wrong time just to keep her off my back?  _ “Around noon.” Liar. His shift started at 10. 

“K, so I’ll–” She was cut off by a loud rumble of thunder, then the woosh of downpour, droplets so thick and quick that the pitter-patter could not be heard over the roar of water hitting the pavement. 

“Ah, it came early.” Ethan said with mock surprise. Liar. Right on time. 

“Shhii….. shoot!” Allison caught herself at a raised eyebrow from her father. “God, I hate rain. If I’m in the rain for too long, I’ll melt like sugar. Probably because I’m as sweet as sugar too.” She winked.

_ You know who else melts in water? Wicked witches. Melting via getting sprayed in the face with God’s clear piss is not something to be proud of.  _ Ethan grumbled in his head.

“My, we should get going. Thank you for your help, son.” Mr. Allen patted Ethan on the back again. Ethan just nodded mechanically.

After a wave and another wink from Allison, the Allens hurried out of the garage. Allison squealed loudly as the water hit her “perfect” hair, so loudly that Ethan could hear her clearly from inside. Jesus Christ.

He sighed and rubbed his temples. Though his boss disliked Ethan smoking on the job, neither his boss nor any customers were here. Fuck it. After digging around in his jacket he lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. He sighed again gratefully, like a dehydrated man in a desert finally drinking a bottle of cool, refreshing water. Leaning on the garage door frame, Ethan detachedly watched the rain pour down. He blew out a cloud of smoke which immediately evaporated in the humidity. God, he needed this; he knew the following week and a half were going to be fucking awful. He hoped Lex would be understanding about him coming home at 12 AM rather than 7:30 PM. She’d probably be the one thing keeping him sane.

* * *

“Eth, what’s wrong? You’ve barely touched your Dinner-ables.” Lex asked, eyebrows furrowing as she peered at her sullen boyfriend. “You ok, babe?”

“Nah. I didn’t exactly have a stellar day at work.” Ethan rested his palm on his chin. “This rich bastard client came in today. The car was in  _ awful  _ condition. Category fucked up. I’m surprised the insurance didn’t write it off as totaled.” He popped a turkey-cheese cracker sandwich into his mouth. “He gave me a short deadline, but said that if I meet it in time then he’ll give me a  _ huge  _ bonus. Like, thousands.” Lex’s eyes widened at that. “ _ But  _ that also means I’ll probably have to work overtime. So I won’t be able to see you guys as much. I’m sorry Lexie.” 

Lex squeezed Ethan’s hand. “Hey, it’s ok. I understand, and I’m sure Hannah will understand too.” 

“There’s more, though.” Ethan bit his lip. “He brought his daughter Allison, the girl who wrecked the car, and oh my  _ God _ . She obviously never heard of personal space. She would  _ not _ stop flirting with me! She was so annoying. Even worse, she’s going to come to the shop every day to ‘check up on me’ to make sure I’m working on her stupid car. This’ll be a fucking nightmare, I know it.” 

Lex bristled. “A girl was flirting with you?” She asked lowly. “Was she pretty?” 

Ethan tilted his head in confusion. “Was she… oh. Babe, you don’t need to be worried. It wouldn’t matter if she was the hottest girl in the world- which she’s not- I would rather jump off a bridge into piranha infested waters than cheat on you. I love you.” He leaned across the table to give her a sweet kiss. 

“Love you too.” Murmured Lex, kissing him back. 

“Oh, and Lex? I’m so sorry.” Ethan said apologetically. 

Lex blinked. “Wha- for what?”

“Being groped by creepy guys must suck.” Ethan squeezed her hand again.

“Uh… yeah, it does.” She said slowly, absolutely bewildered. “Why are you saying this?”

Ethan hummed, unsure what to say. He didn’t want to make her too angry. “I… was just thinking that it must be rough to be a woman. Especially an attractive girl like yourself.” He half-smiled. “I mean, I’ve never groped or touched someone when they didn’t want to. But some girls deal with it a lot, right? That sucks.” 

“I guess?” Lex replied, still confused. “I never got groped that much, but that’s because guys knew not to fuck with me.” She returned his half-smile. “And because I have a boyfriend who would beat the shit out of them if they touched me. That also helps.” 

Ethan kissed the back of her hand, then kissed her on the mouth. “Of course. You know I’d fight anyone to the death to protect you or Hannah.”

“Are you gonna finish those crackers?” Speak of the devil, Hannah appeared next to them, pointing at Ethan’s uneaten Dinner-ables. Both Lex and Ethan jumped- she had become so quiet lately. 

“Uhhh, knock yourself out kiddo.” Ethan said, pushing the box towards Hannah. “Are you still hungry? I sorta thought you were asleep.” 

“It’s only 8:30. I was drawing. Sometimes things I see, sometimes things Webby sees, sometimes things from my imagination. I like them all.” She pointed out. “Though my favourite drawing is the one of the spider above Ethan’s head.” She grinned, much to Ethan’s displeasure.

“I thought we agreed never to talk about that.” He growled through gritted teeth. “That was embarrassing.”

Lex raised her eyebrows. “What spider? How long ago was this?”

“A few months ago. He was talking about your date. There was a spider above his head. I drew that while we were talking. It was funny. He got mad.” Hannah explained, ignoring Ethan’s frantic shakes of his head. 

“You told Hannah about our date?” Lex narrowed her eyes.

“No specifics! Just that we were going out for the night and would come back in the morning. That’s it, I promise. Nothing else. No need to get angry.” He soothed.

“Webby said you did weird things together. Some of the stuff she said I didn’t get or understand. But I don’t care.” Hannah continued. Both Ethan and Lex turned pink.

“Webby should keep her head out of our love life.” Ethan grumbled, wincing as Lex kicked his ankle. 

“Um… tell Webby that it’s uh, not very nice to spy on what other people are doing, ok?” Lex tried to smile gently, but it looked paltry at best. 

“Ok.” Hannah shrugged simply. After a moment, she whispered to Lex, “Wanna see the spider drawing?”

“Hell yeah.” Lex smirked despite Ethan’s groan.

“You two are gonna kill me, you know that?” He rubbed an exasperated hand over his face. Hannah and Lex giggled in response. Though they couldn’t see it, he was smiling as well.

* * *

Over the past few days, Allison visited Ethan during work, either to boss him around or flirt with him. Both were fucking awful. Even worse, Ethan had to work overtime to meet the deadline, which meant 1) Less time at home to relax, 2) less time with Lex and Hannah, 3) less sleep, 4) more time with Allison and 5) a hell of a lot more stress. Instead of his usual 7 or 6 hour workdays, Ethan stayed long after the actual shop had closed, often working over 12 hours each day just on that one stupid car. His boss assured him that he would kick Allison out at closing time, but that didn’t stop the irritatingly shallow saccharine stalker from leaving then returning an hour later to bother Ethan even more. 

It seemed Allison was physically incapable of taking even then most basic hints. Ethan lost count of how many times he said “No thanks” or “I have a girlfriend. Neither seemed to deter her in the slightest; in fact they almost seemed to motivate her even more. Ethan was a challenge to Allison, and unfortunately to basically everyone involved, her mama didn’t raise no quitter. Goddammit. 

The afternoon air was disgustingly humid from a storm that had passed an hour ago- or maybe it was 5 hours ago, or 30 minutes ago. Time seemed to just blur together. Regardless of when it happened, Ethan could still smell the heavy scent of rain over his cigarette. It calmed him, somehow. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back. Damn shame he missed the storm. Usually in California it  _ never  _ rains.

Leaning forward, Ethan noticed his reflection in one of the small puddles lining the street. Fuck, were his eye bags always that bad? Figures, considering he got little to no sleep recently. All because of Allison. Ugh. He hated her. He thought girls like her only existed in movies but nope! Of fucking course she went after him. She probably saw Grease one too many times and let the “bad boy meets good girl” trope go to her head (though Allison was far from being a good girl- and that was not a compliment in the slightest). 

While she was a stalker, at least she hadn’t crossed into dangerous territory. There was no knives or blood, thank fucking god. Ethan had to make sure Allison was really, truly gone before driving home, as he knew she would totally follow him to his motel if given the chance. And he sure as fuck couldn’t let that happen. He had no way of knowing if she would snap, and if she did she could pose a very real threat to his loved ones. Hopefully she’d stop once Ethan finished. That’s what he told himself, anyways. 

“Man, fuck that girl.” Ethan thought out loud. Not in a good way, no matter how rockin her tits were or how rich her daddy (ugh) was. 

Right on fucking cue, a hand from out of fucking nowhere landed on his shoulder and a high voice breathed in his ear, “You know that smoking is like, so bad for you right?” 

“Jesus Christ!” Ethan jolted and nearly swallowed his cigarette in surprise. “What the  _ fuck _ !” He bent over, coughing and wheezing as he tried to regain his breath. 

“Sorry, but it’s true.” When and how the hell did Allison get behind him? I mean yeah, Ethan was deep in thought and not paying much attention, but did she somehow fucking teleport there just from him thinking of her? 

“Allison, what the hell are you doing here? I’m on break. I’ll get back to your car once I’m done.” Ethan said with a glare once he was able to breathe again. 

“I’m just saying. Smoking is so gross and dirty. It fucks up your lungs and shit.” Allison snapped her stupid gum. “Haven’t you ever seen those anti-smoking commercials? Scary stuff.” 

“If you don’t like my smoking, you don’t have to be here, then. Simple as that.” Ethan reprimanded. “If it’s stressing you out, then you can leave. Wouldn’t want a pretty little princess like you to be upset, would we?” To anyone who knew what the concept of sarcasm was, it was obvious that Ethan was being heavily sarcastic. But Allison was so blinded by her own egregious self-love- aka narcissism- that she apparently did not understand that Ethan did not mean a single kind word that he said. 

“Pretty little princess, huh?” Allison twirled a strand of hair around her finger, trying to look coquettish. It didn’t work. “You saying things like that makes me so happy. I can tell you really care about me.” She put her hand on Ethan’s chest. “And I really care about you too, you know.” She slid her other hand up to rest at his neck. “That’s why I’m telling you how bad smoking is. You’re already such a healthy, strong, handsome guy. It’d be a damn shame if you ruined your health!” She lightly squeezed his pec, and Ethan briefly wondered how much a restraining order cost. 

“Thanks for the concern, but no thanks.” Ethan removed the thirsty ho’s hands from his body. “I think I’ll continue smoking anyways. It’s part of my whole… thing. My brand? Whatever.”

“Jeez, you’re stubborn.” Allison pouted.  _ Right back at ya.  _ Ethan thought. “I get that you’re addicted to nicotine, right? Then just vape like the rest of us, Ethan.”

It took every fiber in his being not to roll his eyes back out of his skull. 

“Like I said, no thanks. Not my thing.”  _ Maybe having another cigarette will scare her off.  _ He discarded his ruined cigarette in the murky puddle and pulled out a new one. 

“Are you a chainsmoker or something?” Allison wrinkled her nose.

“Only when I’m stressed.” Fuck, that nicotine rush hit the spot. “So right now, yes.” 

“Maybe I can help you de-stress?” To his horror, Ethan heard the pop of a button. 

“Allison, you are  _ not  _ seducing me in the back of my workplace.” He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice. If any did seep through, she didn’t seem to notice. 

“Why not?” Something large and soft pressed against his arm. It didn't take a genius to figure what it was. 

Ethan refused to look over. He wasn’t gonna ogle some girl, especially one like Allison, no matter how nice her body was. “Because A) I don’t want to B) I don’t think my boss would want me to do this shit at work and C) I’m not going to cheat on my  _ girlfriend _ .  _ Ever _ .” He had half a mind to blow some smoke at her. She’d scatter like a shiny blonde cockroach. It’d be pretty damn funny. 

Allison huffed over dramatically. “You are literally no fun!” She thankfully let go of his arm, although she didn’t bother buttoning her shirt back up. She growled under her breath, “What the hell’s a girl gotta do to get this hunk to fu-”

“Wellllp, looks like my break is over!” Ethan announced dramatically, looking at his non-existent watch (Hannah kept reminding him to wear a watch but he forgot every damn time). He had no idea whether his break really was over or not, but he needed to get away from this girl. “I gotta go back to working on your Frankencar. I’m just gonna be working on some internal stuff, nothing interesting. You really don’t need to stay and watch so pleaseleavemealone, ok?” He gave her a tight grin. He took one draw, and after a few seconds exhaled a particularly thick cloud of smoke (purposefully aiming Allison’s feet, making her grimace and cough to his satisfaction) then threw his 5th cigarette down a nearby storm drain. 

As Ethan headed back to the garage, he could feel Allison’s sharp gaze on his back. He didn’t have the foggiest fucking idea what he could do to get her to just fuck off already. He knew what he  _ wanted  _ to do, but you can’t do that to a customer. Too bad. 

A small droplet of water landed on the tip of his nose. He looked up just in time for a sheet of heavy rain to slam into his face. He gasped softly, not out of annoyance for the sudden rain and getting wet, but more like a wondrous child discovering what rain is for the first time. Then his brain booted back up.  _ Why the fuck are you standing in the rain?? This isn’t The Notebook you idiot. Get inside before your hair fucking melts.  _

“Oh, fuck.” He muttered to himself, then sprinted in the direction of the garage to escape the rain. He threw one last look over his shoulder and surprise, surprise, Allison wasn’t there. Probably teleported back to her home dimension of Hell or some shit. 

Hopefully he wouldn’t have any more creepy encounters like that. But he had a hunch he would anyways. 

(His hunch was correct.)

* * *

“Well well well, looks like the legend of the 90210 bimbo is true after all. She really does exist, unfortunately.” 

Allison looked up from her phone with a sneer. “ _ Excuse _ me?” A girl she had never seen before stood over her with narrowed eyes and a scowl. She looked like the polar opposite of Allison and Allison immediately hated her. From the look in the girl’s eyes, the feeling was already mutual. 

“You’re Allison, right?” Allison nodded. The girl’s scowl deepened. “I’m Lex. Ethan’s  _ girlfriend _ .” Lex shot her a deadly glare. “He might have mentioned me before.”

Allison froze. “I…” She blinked, trying to formulate a response. “I-I don’t recall…”

“Oh, you don’t recall Ethan talking about me? That’s funny, cuz he said he told you about me over and over again, but you just ignore him anyways.” Lex took a step closer, and Allison automatically backed up. With her heels Allison was technically taller than Lex, but both of them knew Lex was the bigger threat here. “Then again, you probably have the 5-second memory of a goldfish, which is why you keep going after my boyfriend even after he rejected you several times.” 

“I thought it was just a made-up excuse…” Allison trailed off, unable to meet Lex’s stare. 

“Yeah well newsflash: It wasn’t. You’ve been stressing him out like crazy. So I’m here to give you a message that apparently hasn’t gotten through your thick head when he says it:” Lex pointed at Allison’s upturned nose. “knock. it. off.”

Allison stuck out her botoxed bottom lip in a ridiculous pout. “You are like, so ru–”

“Save the crocodile tears for someone who cares.” Lex cut her off. “Aka not me.”

Allison growled, looking very much like a glittery angry chihuahua- teeth bared, skinny legs tensed, with an irritating bark much worse than it’s bite. (Not to insult chihuahuas or anything.) “You’re not good enough for him.” 

“Neither are you.” Lex retorted, completely unfazed. “People who think they’re all high and mighty and better than everyone else in the world- like you- piss me off the most.” She gave an incredulous laugh and shook her head to herself. “God, you’re even worse than I imagined. This isn’t even a jealousy thing anymore. You’re just awful.”

“Bitch.” Allison snarled, and pushed Lex. 

Lex blinked in surprise, her brain not processing what just happened for a moment.  _ Did that twat just fucking push me?  _ After a few seconds, Lex came to and immediately took a fighting stance, fully ready to beat the bitch right here right now on the pavement.

“What’s going on here?”

Ethan walked up to the girls, who snapped back to their regular poses as if nothing had happened. “I heard yelling and ohhhh….” His face dropped. “Great. Just great.” He muttered with a sigh.

“Hey babe.” Lex greeted, kissing her boyfriend on the lips. Allison made another chihuahua growl. 

“Hiya. Whatcha doing here?” Ethan asked as they separated. “Oh, sorry about me being so sweaty. The AC’s broken in the garage, and it’s hotter in there than Satan’s armpit.” He wiped his forehead with the towel strewn around his neck.

“That’s fine.” Lex and Allison said together, both staring at where the sweat made his white shirt see-through on his chest. They narrowed their eyes at each other briefly before turning back to Ethan. 

“Lexie, how the hell are you wearing your hoodie? It’s like 90-something degrees out. I’d be sweating even more than I already am.” He laughed. “Aren’t you hot? Well, hotter than you already are.” He winked. 

“...Huh? Oh, uh, yeah.” Lex blinked, ripping her eyes away from the bead of sweat traveling down from his strong neck to defined collarbone to muscular chest. “I, um, just got off of work and it was cold so I put on my hoodie. I’ll take it off then.” 

Now it was Ethan’s turn to eye Lex up, watching closely as her shirt rode up while she pulled her hoodie off over her head, revealing a smooth expanse of skin that he desperately wanted to run his fingers over. 

“Would you two stop eye fucking each other?” Allison seethed under her breath.

“No.” Lex whispered back with a self satisfied grin. She tied her hoodie around her waist tightly and smiled at Ethan. “Hey, do you think you could show me that car you’re working so hard on?  _ Alone _ ?” In reality she didn’t give a shit about the car, she just wanted to get her and Ethan away from the demon in Prada bothering them. 

“No problem babe.” Ethan smiled back. “I’ll meet you in the garage, k?” His eyes flitted to Allison for a second. “Love you, Lex.” Gently he took Lex’s face in his hands and kissed her tenderly (both to piss off Allison and because he truly loved Lex). 

“Love you too.” As soon as Ethan walked away, Lex whirled on Allison. “I’m gonna say this one more time. Stop trying to seduce or flirt or fuck or whatever you want to do with my boyfriend. He’s fucking mine. He’s not going to leave me for you, full stop. You’re pissing him off, you’re pissing me off, so I think it’d be better for all of us if you just go back to your stupid Beverly Hills mansion or wherever you rich fucks live. Coming here everyday and pestering him isn’t going to make him fall for you, so fucking quit it. I’m not gonna warn you again. Fuck off.” She flipped her off with both hands then ran off to join Ethan, leaving Allison absolutely fuming behind her. 

* * *

Lex had been acting a little strange all night. 

She kept staring at Ethan, in a way he couldn’t decipher, then looked away whenever he caught her gaze. Yet he didn’t know exactly why. Maybe she was mad at him for being preyed on by that stalker bitch Ally, or perhaps because he came home fairly late? No, he knew she didn’t think he was cheating on her. They both trusted each other unconditionally. She wasn’t still mad from the whole Allison standoff thing, which was a couple days ago. And Lex understood why he stayed after work. So what the hell was up with all the looks? 

Even Hannah caught on to the tension. “Why is Lex looking at you funny?” She asked as Ethan tucked her in.

“Hell if I know.” He shrugged. “I’ll ask her later. Now you need to go to sleep, okay Banana? It’s already an hour past your bedtime.”

“I wanted to stay up so I could see you.” She pouted. “Even though Lex makes tea way better than you, I still like having you here before I go to bed.” 

“Hey, that hurt!” Ethan gasped in mock-offense. “At least I didn’t burn your tea this time.”

“ _ This  _ time. But you have other times.” Hannah pointed out. They shared a quiet laugh. 

“Good night, Hannah.” Ethan whispered. “See ya in the morning.” He ruffled her hair fondly.

“Night Ethan.” Hannah whispered back. She closed her eyes, and quickly fell asleep.

Ethan stepped back from the bed and took a deep breath. Man, he cared for that kid so much. Though Hannah was more of a little sister than a daughter to him, he felt happy seeing that young girl sleep so peacefully. When he first met Hannah, he found her emotional immaturity annoying, and considered her an unfortunate con in his relationship with Lex. But now? He would do anything for her. She was so much more than he initially thought she was. Sure, she was shy and blunt with her words and still had an imaginary friend. Yet she was intelligent (maybe even more intelligent than Ethan, though he wouldn’t admit it), she was a gifted artist, and she could be actually pretty funny if she was in the right mood. Hannah wasn’t a con in his and Lex’s relationship, far from it. 

Speaking of Lex, where was she? She was usually with him when he put Hannah to bed. Ethan looked around the room, but couldn’t find her.  _ She must be in the bathroom. I’ll talk to her once she comes out.  _

He laid on his bed and gazed up at the ceiling. God, he could go for a cigarette. It was a damn shame the motel they lived in didn’t have a smoking room; then again, the motel was as cheap as they go, and it’s not like they’d be able to afford a better one. Beggars can’t be choosers and all. 

“Hey Eth? Is Hannah fully asleep?” Lex called from the bathroom, breaking Ethan from his musings. 

“Uh, yeah. She is.” Ethan sat up, slightly concerned. “Why?” 

“Can you come to the bathroom?” Her voice sounded a bit strange. 

“Oookaayy…” He said cautiously.  _ What the hell? Is she hurt? Did something bad happen?  _ “What’s wro–” As soon as he opened the bathroom door, Lex slammed it shut and immediately pressed him against the door in a hard kiss. This was nothing like the soft, sweet, simple kisses they had shared the past week; no, this was rough and passionate and full of want. Ethan was so startled it took him a few seconds to process that her lips were on his, and that her arms were snaking around his neck to pull him closer so she could kiss him till he was dizzy. 

“Holy shit, Lex.” He gasped as they separated, the world still spinning before his eyes. “What in the world?” He looked down at Lex, who was currently mouthing along his neck. 

“Need you.” She said bluntly, before sucking a mark that quickly bloomed bright red over his pale collarbone. 

“Y-yeah.” Ethan sputtered, not sure what to say. One of Lex’s hands desperately worked at unbuttoning Ethan’s work shirt while the other wandered lower and  _ ohh,  _ this wasn’t gonna be just a regular makeout session, was it? 

“I thought you didn’t like going at it in the bathroom.” He watched as Lex clucked her tongue in frustration and resorted to using both hands to take off the second button.

“Not particularly.” The third button came off. 

“But we already… We already did this 2 months ago. So we’re making this a regular occasion now?” Ethan half-joked. Fourth button. 

Lex paused. “Would you prefer me to stop?”

“No! No. Hell no. Don’t stop.” Ethan rushed. 

“Shut up then.” Lex captured his lips in another kiss- one that Ethan was actually able to reciprocate. As she stripped him of his work shirt, he ran his hands from the small of her back up, up, until he carefully slipped under the back of her shirt and  _ hell yeah,  _ no bra! He opened his eyes briefly and yup, there was Lex’s nude bra, slung over the shower rod. She must have done that magic thing girls do where they remove their bra without taking off their shirt. He never understood how they did it. But that didn’t matter right now. 

When they finally broke apart, both were panting and red-faced. Ethan eagerly chucked off his undershirt, leaving him half-naked in front of his girlfriend. “You’re wearing too many clothes.” He murmured. “Want me to help you take them off?”

“I think I’m old enough to undress myself, thanks.” Lex teased. “What about you?”

“Hmm? What about me?”

“How about I help you take off your clothes.” She licked her lips. “Hell, I’ll even undo your fly with my teeth. You like that, right?” Truthfully, it had been quite a while since Lex had done that. It was not an easy task, to be sure. Ethan, on the other hand, fucking loved it. 

“Sure.” Ethan’s voice cracked slightly.“But you should uh, take off at least one piece of clothing.” He coughed. “It’s a bit awkward being the only half-naked person here.”

Lex rolled her eyes. “Chill out. Trust me, in a moment we’ll both be equally naked.” However much to Ethan’s delight, she unzipped and stepped out of her pants. Her panties were grey with a subtle flower pattern. They were weirdly cute, or at least weirdly cute for a girl like Lex. Ethan decided he loved them. 

Lex then got on her knees so she was face to face with Ethan’s fly. Gingerly she took the zipper in her teeth and pulled it down, down, until it was fully unzipped and Ethan’s tight underwear (made even tighter by the situation) peeked through. They were black, just like his worn pants. Black looked good on his pale skin, and he fucking knew it. 

Lex felt her boyfriend looking at her expectantly. She shook her head with an apologetic smile. “No, Eth. Not right now. Not yet.” 

Ethan sighed and pouted slightly, but no matter. It’s not like she was going to blue ball him and walk away completely, leaving him aching and rather horny. She could be a bit of a tease sometimes, but she wasn’t  _ that  _ cruel. 

“Love you.” Mumbled Lex as she stood up to give Ethan another kiss. “I’m yours. And you’re mine and only mine,” she sucked another dark hickey on his neck, “right?”

“Yeah. Every part of me,  _ fuck _ , is only yours.” Ethan groaned, throwing his head back in ecstasy, mainly from when Lex’s hands were doing. He didn’t know exactly what they were going to do next, but based on the fervent kisses and desperate touches in not-so-innocent places, he had a feeling he was going to enjoy it immensely. 

* * *

“Fuck, that was something.” Ethan leaned against the wall, watching his girlfriend brush her teeth vigorously. “Even last time was less crazy than this.” His fingers twitched. God, how he longed for an after sex cigarette. Somehow those cigarettes almost taste better than regular ones. Go figure. 

“Hey, were you fully aware of some of the shit you said? It seemed like you were in a daze sometimes.” Ethan hugged Lex from behind and kissed the shell of her ear.

“...What do you mean by shit?” Lex set the toothbrush down. 

“Well, I can’t do a very good impression of you.” Said Ethan sheepishly. “But you were acting real possessive. Stuff like ‘You’re fucking mine’ and ‘Only I can touch you’.” He laughed semi-awkwardly. “To be honest, I’m actually flattered. It was really fucking hot, I can tell you that.”

Lex blushed. “...I think most of that was subconscious. I wasn’t fully paying attention to what came out of my mouth. Sorry.”

“Aw, don’t apologise.” Ethan soothed, rubbing her shoulder. “I liked everything that came out of your mouth. Especially some of those noises you made.” He winked. Lex only blushed deeper. 

“Oh, Lex. I have something to ask you.” Ethan said, sobering up. “Please be honest with me. Did you do this because you were actually horny for me, or to get back Allison? I’m not gonna get mad if it’s the 2nd one. But I want to know.”

Lex opened her mouth, closed it, paused, and opened it again. “...Yes to both? 80% thirst, 20% revenge, I guess. At first it was purely motivated by sex, but then later I realised,” she softly slid her fingers over a particularly large and dark hickey on his neck, “she’d probably get super jealous when she saw them. So I just had to do it. Knock that bitch down a peg  _ and  _ get with my boyfriend? 2 birds with one stone.”

“I’m with you on that one babe.” Ethan chuckled. “I’m sure she will  _ not  _ appreciate these on me.” He looked in the mirror and whistled. “Damn. You sure went to town huh?” 

Lex shrugged. “Sorry.” She said, not sounding sorry in the slightest. 

“No need to say sorry, babe. I really like your motivation.” He gave her a long kiss. She tasted like strong, artificial mint, from the toothpaste she had just used. Although Ethan didn’t particularly like mint (he preferred bubblegum toothpaste, as all bad boys do), he was very glad he could kiss Lex now without tasting himself on her tongue. 

“By the way, this is absolutely not going to become a regular occurrence. Sorry, Eth.” Lex said seriously. “I still don’t like the bathroom. I just couldn’t think of a private place for us to do stuff like this.”

“What about our car late at night? It’s not like a bunch of people are out and about at this time.” Ethan suggested. 

“....Fuck.” 

“Lex, did it seriously never occur to you to just fuck in a car? We did it all the time in Hatchetfield!” He laughed incredulously. “Hell, we don’t even need to drive anywhere like we did last time. We can just fuck in the motel parking lot.”

“Yeah, but someone could see us!” Lex protested.

“At 1 in the morning or whatever time it is? ‘sides, we’ve fucked in riskier places. Remember when we nearly got caught by that asshole truancy officer in the school parking lot?” Ethan smiled fondly at the memory. “Scared the shit out of both of us.”

“We didn’t  _ technically  _ fuck, though.” She pointed out.

“True, true. We were just, oh I dunno, only  _ naked _ and  _ on top of each other _ . What was the dumbass excuse you whipped up? ‘A new form of yoga’ or some shit? But you’re right, we didn’t  _ technically  _ fuck. That’s because we didn’t want to get suspended for going at it on school property. If we hadn’t almost got caught, we would have absolutely, ‘technically’ fucked in the school parking lot and you fucking know it.” He countered, a smirk stretched across his handsome face.

Lex went red and looked away. “How was I supposed to know that asshole would stay after school? I thought we were safe.” She grumbled. “Motherfucker was always after us, I swear.”

“I mean, it’s his job to catch kids who skip school. And we skipped school _a lot_.” Ethan shrugged. “Then again, he was also an asshole even when he wasn’t chasing after us. Fuck, I’m so glad we got away from that hellhole.” 

Lex fixed her messy bun in the mirror, then turned back to Ethan. “I’m gonna go have a cigarette outside. You can come with me if you want, but put on some pants first.” She playfully hipbumped him. “As much as I love seeing you naked babe, I don’t think everyone would be as pleased as I am to see you walk around nude.” She winked. 

“Wha– oh shit, yeah. I forgot.” Ethan hurried to put on his underwear and pants, trying not to pay attention to Lex’s snickering. In his rush he even put on his undershirt both backwards and inside out.

“Eth, you fucked up your shirt.” Lex sighed, though there was a smile on her face. “Lemme help.” Gently she slid Ethan’s undershirt off, corrected it, then pulled it back on, smoothing it over his chest to flatten it out. “There we go. Better.” She hummed fondly. 

She realised he hadn’t said anything in a while, so she glanced up to see Ethan staring at her with the softest, most adoring expression she had ever seen on him. 

He looked absolutely, positively smitten with her. 

Weirdly enough, the situation felt… strangely domestic. In a good way. It was like a scene from an old 50s sitcom; where the wife would fix her husband’s tie before he headed out to work, where both loved their partner unconditionally, forever and always.

Of course, what it looked like from the outside was a far cry from the traditional domesticity just described. Lex was dressing Ethan for a postcoital cigarette, not a 9-5 job. Yet they felt their cheeks heat up and hearts swell and pulse quicken and 3 words burned and bubbled on the tip of their tongues.  _ Say it, say it, just fucking say it.  _

“I love you.” Ethan and Lex said nearly simultaneously, then blushed even deeper. 

“Guess we’re on the same page, hmm?” Lex murmured before drawing him into a long, romantic kiss. They swayed slightly together, even without the aid of any external music. They didn’t need music; all they needed was each other.

(And a cigarette.)

* * *

California summer nights were often warm, or even at times uncomfortably hot. Perhaps a random breeze would come through and cool you down for a moment, only for the heat to return full force and launch you back into misery. There was something oddly lonely about standing in the darkness of a muggy night, with the only other living things up and about for miles being an out-of-tune orchestra of crickets who croaked with the weak vigor of an old man minutes away from death. 

“Can’t believe it’s fucking 87° out at 1 in the fucking morning.” Lex grumbled. “Ridiculous.”

Ethan had to agree. It was so hot that he didn’t even put on a proper shirt or jacket, and settled for just his white tank top and jeans. 

“Better than 27°.” He took out his own cigarette, then tossed the pack to Lex. “What was that phrase? ‘If you can’t take the heat, get out of California’? Something like that.” 

Lex chuckled and shook her head. “That’s not how it goes, Eth.” 

“I know that. I just wanted to make you laugh.” (For the record, he did not know that.) Carefully Ethan pushed the tip of his and Lex’s cigarette together, then lit the two cigarettes at once with his skull lighter. “And it worked.” 

“Sort of.” Lex leaned against the side of the motel building with a sigh. Her boyfriend did the same.

There was a few minutes of comfortable silence, before Ethan broke it with a cute little laugh to himself. 

“Sorry, sorry.” He said at Lex’s raised eyebrow. “It’s just… well, I hate to bring  _ her  _ up, but I just remembered. She caught me smoking on my break, and you know what she fucking said?”

“What?”

Ethan affected his best annoying Valley Girl voice. “‘Omg, ew! Smoking is  _ so _ gross and dirty. Just vape like the rest of us.’” He scoffed and blew out a cloud of particularly thick smoke. “So sorry I can’t afford your fancy $75 vape and strawberry vanilla flavoured juice, bitch.”

Lex snorted. “What the fuck? Who says that to people?”

“No kidding.” Ethan rolled his eyes. “She has no fucking filter. First day I met her, she referenced to calling me ‘Daddy’, which I still don’t understand why people do that. You already have a Dad. Is it some weird mental thing, like the Ed… the- the eddy… ehhhh…. The one where kids think their parents are hot. It starts with an E. Help me out here Lex.” 

“What do I look like, some sort of brainiac?” Lex huffed. “I didn’t take psychology! But I think I know what you’re talking about. Let’s see…” She took a long drag as she tried to think. “....Eddypus? Yeah, the Eddypus complex!”

“Yeah that’s it. Wow, you’re smart.” Ethan wrapped an arm around her and squeezed, kissing her lightly on the cheek. “You know, sometimes I think to myself ‘Man, I am so fucking lucky to be dating an amazing girl like Lex Foster’. In fact, I think that every time I look at you.” He pressed his forehead against Lex’s.

“Damn, what is up with you? You’re being really cheesy tonight.” She teased. “Not that I mind.” She ran her thumb over his cheek gently as he pulled her into a soft kiss. 

“Dunno. I guess I just feel more romantic than usual.” Ethan replied with a shrug. “...Do you not like it? You want me to stop?” A sudden sense of insecurity overtook him. 

“No. No way. Don’t you dare stop.” Lex immediately said. She kissed Ethan again, but this was quite different than the previous one. Her back hit flat against the wall as the kiss turned heated, though she paid no mind to the slight pain in her shoulder blades. She dropped her cigarette unceremoniously in favour of running her hands through his gelled hair. She could still feel the warmth of the cigarette on his lips, taste the nicotine on his tongue, smell the smoke permeating in the air. 

Ethan dropped his cigarette as well and crushed it under his foot then immediately went back to making out. It was if the roles had been reversed from before; Lex felt small but not uncomfortable in the slightest, and as Ethan wedged his knee in between her legs and began grinding upwards, the same realisation that dawned upon him hours ago hit her:  _ ohh,  _ this wasn’t gonna be just a regular makeout session, would it? 

“What you did earlier was amazing.” Ethan whispered lowly in her ear. “So I want to return the favour.” He gently bit her earlobe. A sharp shiver went up Lex’s spine. “So just relax and let me take care of you, ok?” 

As he said this, he slowly slid his hands underneath Lex’s shirt, taking his time and caressing the soft skin as he inched upwards toward his goal. 

“Ah!” Lex gasped, arching her spine. Ethan chuckled quietly. 

The couple must have made quite a sight- 2 horny ass teenagers, pressed against the sidewall of a shitty motel in the middle of a hot summer night, already on 2nd base and on their way to 3rd. Though no soul was currently awake, if they didn’t keep their damn voices down, that might change. 

“Ethan…  _ fuck _ , Ethan.” Lex panted between wet kisses. Her skin was burning up, and her racing heartbeat thudded in her ears. Ethan took her chanting his name as encouragement to increase his ministrations. He shifted slightly and angled his knee to hit a more precise place. Lex cried out his name again and threw her head back, allowing him to lightly suck (though not enough to make a mark) at the hollow of her throat. 

Just as he was about to fully push her shirt up, Lex caught his wrists. “Eth, do you have the car keys?” She asked breathlessly. 

Ethan smirked and pulled out the car keys from his back pocket, jingling them slightly. “Of course I do babe. I was waiting for you to ask that.” 

The two ran to the car, almost tripping over themselves in their eagerness. They barely even shut the car door before Ethan pushed Lex into the backseat, crouching on top of her and crashing his lips into hers. 

Lex kissed him back with fervor, trying to stifle a groan as Ethan pulled her legs apart. She grabbed the back of his shirt and began to pull it up, but he broke away from the kiss and stopped her.

“No, babe.” Ethan’s voice was gentle. “This is about you.”

“But…” Lex looked at him, then his pants, then back to his face. “Are you sure? ‘Cuz there’s  _ that…”  _

“I’m sure. I’ll be fine.” He soothed, kissing her jaw. “I said I’d return the favour, right?” 

“Ooookk… If you say so.” She kept her eyes trained on Ethan as he unbuttoned her pants and began to trail little kisses, lower, lower, lower, until–

“ _ Fuck!”  _

“There it is.” Ethan looked up at her from between her thighs with a smug smirk. He blew a little cold puff of air, making Lex’s leg twitch and drawing a choked gasp. He laughed. “Cute.”

“Shut up you asshole.” Lex grumbled with a blush. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Ethan held his hands up in surrender. “No more teasing. Let’s get down to the main event.”

* * *

“Did I get everything?”

Ethan licked around the edges of his mouth. “You know I don’t like letting it just go to waste.”

Lex glanced at him and tapped the end of her cigarette out the car window. “Yeah almost. You still have some here.” She pointed the left corner of her mouth. “Dunno why you’re so into it. We have towels, you know that right? That’s what I do if I get any on me.”

Ethan scoffed. “It’s different! Totally different.”

“Whatever. Want a drag?” Lex offered the cigarette to Ethan, who took it gratefully.

“Of course.” He rolled down his own window and exhaled the smoke, where it disappeared out into the night sky. He glanced at the car clock, then groaned and ran a hand over his face. “Oh, fuck.”

“What?”

“I have work in 3 and a half hours. Shit, and I told myself I’d go to bed straight away after coming home.” Ethan rubbed his temples. “God, I know I used to joke that sleep is for the weak, but I’m starting to really miss sleep.” He clucked his tongue. “Mind if I finish this?” He asked, waving the cigarette. Lex nodded. “Maybe I’m just getting old.”

“Pssh, drama queen. ‘Getting old’? You’re not even 20!” Lex pushed him playfully. 

“5 weeks!” Ethan insisted. “I’m basically 20.” 

“Ok, so you’re ‘basically 20’. If you think 20 is old, then the fact that you’re 23 on your ID must make you an elder.” She teased. 

Ethan snorted and put on an awful old man impression. “You stupid young fucks! Back in my day we slept for a full 8 hours.”

“‘Stupid young fucks’? I’ve  _ never  _ heard an old person say that.” Lex guffawed. “I think your old man impersonation is a little bit off, Eth.”

“How do you know how old people talk like? You used to work around kids, not old farts.” Ethan shot back. 

“One, sometimes old people would come to the store to buy toys for their bratty kids. I’ve talked to way more boomers than I ever wanted. Two, you work around cars Ethan. Last time I checked, unless we’re in a shitty episode of Transformers, cars aren’t people. You don’t know any more about old people than I do.” Lex listed off. 

He gaped like a fish out of water, blinking blanky as he tried to formulate an argument in his head. “...Why are we talking about old people at 2 AM again? Shouldn’t we be sleeping like normal people?” He finally said.

“Hey, you said it yourself old guy.” Lex shrugged with a grin. “Sleep is for the weak. And I’m not a weak bitch.”

* * *

“Jesus  _ Christ  _ man. You do know your neck looks like it was attacked by 20 mini Mike Tysons, right?” Marsh whistled as he walked over to Ethan, who was carefully painting the new hood of the car.

“That’s an interesting way of putting it.” Ethan glanced up at his coworker and wiped the sweat off his brow. 

“Daaamn, and those eyebags too! How much sleep did you get last night, dude?” Marsh handed Ethan his water bottle. 

“None, actually. I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t.” He took a big swig. “Fuck me sideways, I guess.” 

“Is it because you were woken up at night by 20 mini boxers just ‘bap-bap-tat!’ on your neck?” Marsh mimicked punching motions.

“Yes, Marsh. That’s exactly it. I couldn’t sleep last night because a ton of tiny boxing legends decided to beat up my neck. You’re so smart. How did you know?” Ethan deadpanned.

“I always know, bro.” Marsh patted him on the shoulder. “Got a sixth sense up here.” He tapped his temple. “Might have failed 3rd grade and sophomore year, but I still got the smarts.”

“Wow, you failed sophomore year too? Finally, someone I can relate to.” Ethan handed back the water bottle. “Thanks.” 

“Boss Man better be paying you overtime. I know you’re working harder than hell, and I don’t even pay attention. No way in fuck could I work 12 hour day instead of 7. And you even stay after we close right? You’re crazy, dude.” Marsh chugged the rest of the water down, then burped. “It’s impressive.” He set the empty bottle down on the ground. “‘specially with that smokin’ hot dime hanging off your arm all the time.”

Ethan snorted incredulously. “You can have her. She’s a fucking nuisance. And I wouldn’t call her a dime; sure she’s got nice T&A but that’s the only thing going for her.” He shook his head. “And girls should be much more than just their body. I’m not saying that every girl has to be a nerdy prude, but I like girls who have fun personalities or at least have something going on inside their head. I can’t  _ truly like _ a girl who relies only on her looks to attract people.” 

“You have high standards, man.” Marsh stretched his arms above his head and yawned. “You already got a girlfriend though.”

“I don’t have high standards. You just have low standards.” Ethan argued. “That’s why you’re willing to look past the bitchy parts if she’s a ‘dime’ or whatever you said. Believe me, that ‘dime’s personality cancels out any attractive parts about her.”

“Hiii, Ethaaann~”

Speak of the fucking Devil. 

“Ooo, you’re painting the front… part.. thingy today?” Allison pointed at the hood. “It’s really looking good. Only a couple days until the deadline and–” She stopped. “What is that.” Ethan stiffened.

“Oh, a bunch of tiny Mike Tysons punched him in the neck. Couldn’t sleep cuz of it.” Marsh added helpfully. Ethan and Allison slowly turned to him.

“Mike Tyson? I don’t know him. Is he like, an old person or something? I don’t pay attention to anything that’s not from this century.” Allison sneered. “And those are _obviously_ _not_ tiny punches.” 

“Well, you got me. Me and my  _ girlfriend  _ may have gotten a little wild last night. But hey, since we’re  _ dating  _ and  _ love each other,  _ I don’t mind that much.” Ethan tried his goddamn best not to smirk and remain neutral, but it was fucking hard. 

“Well, that’s not very professional of you, Ethan.” Allison was clearly miffed. “You should cover that up.”

“I don’t like involving my professional life with my personal life.” He replied coolly. “What happens in my home doesn’t matter at my job.” 

“Where’s your home then?”

Ethan froze. Oh yeah, he forgot. Allison’s sorta a stalker. If he told her, she’d definitely follow him. 

“Telling you where I live wouldn’t be very professional of me, now would it?” Hot damn, he loved the fury on her face as he threw her stupid words back at her. Even Marsh looked like he was trying not to laugh. 

“I think I should be finished a day early. So I’ll be out of your hair soon, k?” Ethan put on a fake smile and patted her shoulder affably.  _ More like you’ll be out of my hair. I can’t fucking wait. _

“Aww, but I sorta liked having you in my hair.” Allison pouted. 

She placed her hand over Ethan’s. Ethan tried very hard not to immediately rip it away. “You make me really happy… Eth.”

_ Oh no she did not.  _ “Don’t call me that.” He said coldly. “Only one person is allowed to call me that.”

“And that’s me, right?” She had the fucking nerve to smile.

“Not even close.” Ethan spat. Marsh watched them, eyes ping ponging back and forth like he was watching an amusing fight on a drama show. 

“Then who, Eth?” She fucking knew who he was talking about.

“The same person who gave me these, Allison.” Ethan tilted his neck so she could see all the bruises and hickies decorating his pale skin. 

Allison pursed her lips. “She did that to make me jealous.” She insisted. “Obviously.” 

Ethan felt a vein throbbing in his neck. “Not everything is about you.” Translation:  _ Stop being a vain bitch that thinks the world fucking revolves around you. It fucking doesn’t. Your crazy clingy-ness didn’t drive a fucking wedge between me and Lex. The exact opposite actually. But I’m not going to let your bitch ass take credit for that either.  _ He took a deep breath to calm himself down.  _ I promised myself I’d never hit a woman, but goddamn you deserve to be slapped so hard your shitty extensions fly out.  _

Allison opened her mouth, most likely to say some dumb ass excuse back, but Marsh cut her off. “Would you look at the time! 12:45 already? We’re due for our employee lunch break! C’mon Green, we should head to the employee room.” He clapped Ethan on the back. “Sorry Allison, you can’t come with. See ya!” He practically dragged Ethan to the back, then slammed the door to the break room shut.

“Sorry Green. I uh, never really paid attention to her while she was talking with you. I didn’t realise that she was,” he whistled and twirled his finger near his temple, “ya know.”

“Batshit insane? Yeah, well appearances can be… what was that phrase? Appearances can be bullshit?” Ethan sighed.

“Eh, close enough.” Marsh grabbed his lunchbox from his cubby and placed it on the table. “I got some sandwiches. You want some, Green?”

“Is it a ganja sandwich? I’ll pass.” Ethan shook his head. “I’d kill for a cig though.”

Marsh snorted. “‘Ganja sandwich’? Ha! Good one. Nah, just a regular BLT. No fancy green shit, Green.” He looked around and whispered, “But if you really wanna join me sometime…”

“Oh, after the job’s done I fucking will.” Ethan leaned against the table. “How much?”

“Nah man, this time it’s on me. You’ve worked hard. You need to chill.” Marsh squeezed his shoulder, then opened his lunch box and took a big bite out of his grody looking sandwich. The bacon was sadder and limper than a teen with ED, the lettuce and tomatoes both looked about a week past their expiration date, and there was a spot of mold on the top slice of bread. Fucking gross. “Ya shure ya don’t wansht some?” He offered with his mouth horribly full.

“I’ll pass.” Ethan said again, trying not to roll his eyes. 

Marsh shrugged. “Shuit yashelf, man.” 

They sat together in comfortable silence, the only sounds being Marsh’s ridiculously loud crunching and Ethan’s foot tapping. Though he technically wasn’t supposed to use his phone while working, he was on break and his boss wasn’t here anyway. Carefully he took his phone and opened his messages. 

Lexie 🖤 (12:42): Hey Eth. You ok

Ethan (12:45): Nah

Lexie 🖤 (12:45): Why

Ethan (12:46): :/

Lexie 🖤 (12:46): That bitch again?

Ethan (12:47): Murder is wrong but

Lexie 🖤 (12:48): Jfc that bad huh

Lexie 🖤 (12:49): I love you 

Lexie 🖤 (12:49): You can do this

Ethan exhaled. Thank fucking God he has Lex there to get him through this. He doubted he could stay sane without her. 

Ethan (12:50): Love you too babe 

Lexie 🖤 (12:51): Did she like my hickies? 

Ethan (12:51): She was fucking PISSED. It was funny as hell

Ethan (12:52): Tho she crossed a line

Lexie 🖤 (12:52): ?

Ethan (12:53): She fucking called me Eth. Several times

Lexie 🖤 (12:53): …

Lexie 🖤 (12:53): Murder is wrong but

Ethan (12:53): LMAO

“Your girl texting you again?” Marsh asked out of the blue, startling Ethan.

“I didn’t say anything!” He clutched his phone to his chest. “...How’d you know.”

“You get this sorta dopey, lovesick grin on your face whenever you text her or talk about her. You looovvee her.” Marsh grinned like a 12-year-old boy needling his friend about a crush. “Are you gonna maaarrryy her?” 

Ethan looked away so Marsh couldn’t see him blush. “Not yet. We haven’t even been in California for a year. I wanna wait until all the craziness calms down and we move out of that stupid motel room. Then… then we’ll see.” 

“Wow. You really are serious about this, huh?” Marsh raised his eyebrows. “Not many 19-year old, leather jacket-wearing bad boys are so serious or responsible about this sorta shit. Props.” 

“Yeah well, in my situation I sorta have to be responsible. It sucks.” Ethan sighed. “But… as long as I have Lexie around, I’ll survive.” 

“Cute. Can I be your best man at your wedding, Green?”

“Not a chance in hell.” 

“Wow, harsh.” Marsh set his sandwich down and sighed over dramatically. “And here I thought I was your friend. Hurts my feelings, man.”

“Not best man level. Sorry.” Ethan snickered. He was about to say something else when he received another text.

Lexie 🖤 (12:56): Banana says hi btw

Ethan (12:56): Say hi back 

Ethan (12:57): I forgot my fucking lunch and I’m starving but I don’t want to eat my coworkers nasty ass sandwich which probably has a STD 

Lexie 🖤 (12:57): That’s literally impossible but k 

Lexie 🖤 (12:58): You want me to stop by with some McD’s 

Ethan (12:58): I love you

Lexie 🖤 (12:58): The usual?

Ethan (12:58): U fuckin know it. Gimme those chinken nuggies 

Lexie 🖤 (12:59): Never fucking say that again

Ethan (12:59): 😘 

Ethan (12:59): Lunch break ends at 1:30 so be here before then. thx

Lexie 🖤 (1:00): k. see u soon

Ethan ran a hand over his face and held back a sigh. Hopefully Lady Luck would be on his side, and Allison would have left by the time Lex arrived (or at least Allison wouldn’t be a confrontational bitch as usual). 

* * *

Lady Luck always loved fucking Ethan over, that bitch. 

When Lex arrived at the storefront 15 minutes later, unfortunately Allison was not only still there, but also attempting to give Lex the biggest stink eye in the history of anything ever. Lex was quite aware of the bimbo with such an angry aura it was practically palpable standing 10 feet away glaring daggers at her, but she ignored her. She didn’t want to give the rotten little snob the attention she so desperately craved. 

“Hey Eth.” Lex greeted Ethan as he came towards her. “Here’s your lunch. I bought you a shake as well as a little reward for working so hard.” She pecked him on the cheek. “Try not to forget your lunch again, though.” 

“Thanks babe.” He replied, and turned his head to capture her lips in a proper kiss. Though they couldn’t really makeout (not openly at least) Ethan made sure Allison saw him slip his tongue into his girlfriend’s mouth. Allison made a sound that sounded like a cross between a strangled gasp and a squawk from a bird smacked out of the sky with a rock. Damn. He didn’t even know it was possible for someone’s face to go that red. 

"Ugh, seriously? All you can afford is some shitty fast food?” Allison’s snobby voice interrupted their moment. “Wow, you really are poor, huh?” She flipped her awful hair. Ethan and Lex rolled their eyes at the same time. 

“It’s just McDonald’s, Allison. I forgot my lunch, so my  _ girlfriend  _ was nice enough to get me lunch.” Ethan explained, trying to keep his voice steady. “She didn’t get this food out of a dumpster. Getting fast food doesn’t make you poor. Also McDonalds is really good, if you don’t care about calories.” He lifted the chicken McNuggets box out of the paper bag and checked the calories. “Yup. 440 calories of unhealthy goodness.”

“That’s too much. That shit isn’t good for your body.” Allison argued.

“I’m young. I’m allowed to fuck up my body. Might regret it when I’m like 40, but I’m not 40, am I? Your 20s- don’t look at me like that Lex, just wait 5 weeks- is prime time to do stupid shit. ‘sides, this is just some chicken nuggets. I’m not eating nuclear waste or poison coffee.” He asserted.

Allison clicked her tongue. “Ethan, if you were with me _ , _ I'd never get you fast food." 

“Ah, but he’s not with you. He’s with  _ me _ . Sucks for you.” Lex finally spoke up. 

“More like sucks for him!” Allison stamped her foot, like a fucking petulant child. “You’re a 3 and I’m a 10. I don’t even know why he dates some _ thing  _ like you!” 

Now Ethan was starting to get seriously pissed off. No one insults his girlfriend like that. Hell, the last time someone talked shit about Lex in front of him, he punched the fucker’s face in. But Ethan wasn’t about to hit a girl, no matter how much she fucking deserved it. He may be a bad boy, but he was above that shit. “Allison–” 

But Lex held her ground and cut him off. “Oh yeah? Well which one of us made those hickies?” She brushed Ethan’s collar back to show off the red and purple bruises. 

“Ugh. You only made those to make me jealous.” Allison accused. Ethan gawked at the two women, half in amusement and half in concern. He doubted it would happen, but if they ended up fighting, he’d have to (sadly) separate them. For now, he sipped on his shake as quietly as he could. He was still hungry goddammit.

“1, no I didn’t. Ripley’s fucking believe or not, I don’t think about other girls while spending time with my boyfriend. 2, it’s clearly working. And 3, for the record? Ethan isn’t always on top, ya know.” 

Ethan actually choked on his shake. 

“Lexholyshit.” He wheezed quietly. He had never seen his girlfriend look so damn smug in his life. “Jesus  _ fucking  _ Christ on a bike.” He tried his best to hold back coughing/laughter but damn it was difficult.

“Oh. my. god.” Allison gasped scandalously, like a nun discovering a couple fucking underneath the church pews. “Ethan! You can't let her take control like that! You're a man, remember? Girls aren’t supposed to do that!” 

_ Believe me, if you’d had sex with her you wouldn’t mind it.  _ Ethan quipped in his head. He couldn’t just say that (though he bet Lex would be immensely satisfied if he did) so he shrugged and said, “Hey, it’s my life. I can do whatever I want.” 

“Well, while I can’t say I enjoyed this little catfight, my break’s almost over so I have to speed eat then get back to work.” He gathered up his food. “Babe, thanks for the McD’s. Love you lots.” He gave Lex a sweet kiss. He could feel Little Miss Traditional Gender Roles’ glare on his back, but at this point he just didn't give a shit. 

“Love you more.” Lex said, still looking smug as all hell. 

Ethan turned to Allison. “Allison, I’m not doing anything really crazy amazing that you just have to see today, so there’s no point in hanging around. You should just go home. Lex, give Hannah a big hug from me once you get home.” He put two fingers to his temple in a casual salute. “See ya, ladies.” He walked away, leaving both girls dumbfounded at his apparent nonchalance. It was a rather abrupt exit, but hey, the boy needed his chicken nuggets.

* * *

2 days later, and Ethan had finally fucking finished the Frankencar. Yeah, his sleep schedule was straight fucked and his nerves a little fried from the ever-present fucking annoyance that was Allison hovering over his shoulder, but the mad lad fucking did it. Even though Ethan’s boss agreed to pay him for overtime, he  _ really  _ needed that fat bonus from Allen. Hell, he deserved it too! It was a fuck ton of work. If Allen skimped out on the bonus, Ethan might just punch something. Preferably Allison. 

“I say my boy, you certainly have done an excellent job!” Mr. Allen slapped Ethan on the back amiably, nearly knocking him the fuck over in the process.

“Uh, thanks Mr. Allen.” Ethan rubbed his sore back.  _ And don’t call me ‘my boy’. Not to sound like your bratty daughter, but no one talks like that in this century. Jesus Christ.  _

“Told you it was good, Daddy!” Squealed Allison, running her hand along the new silver side of the car. “My friends will be  _ sooo  _ jealous.” She lowered her voice. “They’ll be even more excited when I tell them a hot mechanic boy did it for me.” She winked.

_ Oh God oh fuck oh shit hell fuck no don’t you fucking dare bring your shitty friends I swear to God-  _

“Anyways,” Ethan coughed, “Sooo Mr. Allen. When we first talked, you mentioned something about giving me a bonus if I finished it within a week and a half, and I finished a day early so uh… you know… anything regarding that bonus?”

“Oh, of course! Don’t worry, I didn’t forget. I’ve got a memory like an elephant.” Mr. Allen tapped his temple as he got out his wallet.

“Like an elephant.” Allison echoed. What a valuable contribution to the conversation. 

Mr. Allen practically threw a check at Ethan, who barely caught it before it hit the ground. “I hope you don’t mind it being a check. I know some young people like cash, but you can just cash it in at the bank. Plus it’s easier to carry around than thick stacks of cash.” He winked, looking even more pompous than his daughter. “It’s also a little gift for entertaining my daughter. She gets bored so easily, but she perks right up whenever she sees you!”

“Yeah, Ethan. Thanks for keeping me company.” Allison cooed, then gave poor Ethan a big kiss on the cheek. “You can’t push me away now. Not with my Daddy here. And your stupid girlfriend isn’t here to stop me either.” She whispered in his ear. 

“Y-yeah.” Ethan stammered, attempting to stay calm and not shove her away like he desperately wanted to. He glanced down at the check in his hands, and an involuntary gasp escaped him as his eyes widened. A million different emotions buzzed around inside him. Elation, because  _ holy shit I just got a huge ass bonus.  _ Relief, because finally this stupid job is fucking over and he can go back to spending time with Lex and Hannah and get actual fucking sleep. Disgust, because even after the job’s done Allison still thinks it’s fine to harass him. Anger, because that bitch just called the love his life stupid. Apprehension, because what if the bank gets suspicious at the large check and thinks he faked it? 

“Thank you, Mr. Allen.” Ethan said after gathering his thoughts. “Really. Thanks a lot.” He rubbed Allison’s sticky shimmery lip gloss off his cheek, but some refused to come off. What the fuck was this made of, a disgusting mixture of glitter, snail slime and fucking glue? Thank god Lex only stuck to chapstick. 

“I know you put in many hours of work. It’s only right.” Mr. Allen grinned. He probably thought of himself as a real fucking swell Samaritan for doing this. Ethan speculated that he would probably write this off as charity donations. 

After staring at the illegible cursive on the check for a good 10 seconds, Ethan finally made out “ _ For a job well done”  _ as the memo. Jesus, why did rich adults always have bad handwriting? Shit, Ethan’s handwriting wasn’t exactly stellar either, but it was bad in a different way. Ethan had handwriting that looked like it was from a half-blind 10-year-old who still hadn’t figured out how to hold a pencil properly. Mister Moneybags over here had handwriting loopier than a sick college kid high on too much Nyquil. 

After the Allens properly paid, it was at last time to say their farewells. “Well Ally, I guess this is goodbye. Forever.” Ethan smiled tightly. “After this, we’ll never see each other again.”

Allison grinned her stupid shark grin. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” She revved her new engine. “Bye, Ethan. I’ll miss you terribly.” She blew a kiss (which Ethan didn’t even try to look happy about) and with a wave drove off, her father driving behind her. Ethan did not wave back. 

“Hoooooly fuck.” Ethan exhaled heavily, and leaned against the outside wall of the store. Putting Allison’s weird words to the back of his mind, he felt fucking ecstatic. He would no longer be tormented by that bitch, _ and  _ he got a bigass bonus. He could practically picture Lex’s overjoyed face. 

He looked around for his boss, and seeing no sign of him, quickly pulled out a cigarette from the pack he had hidden in his back pocket and lit it. He fucking deserved a victory cigarette. 

* * *

“You’re home early. Or rather, you’re home on time.” Lex greeted Ethan with a quick peck on the lips. It was 7:30- the time when he usually got home before the whole Allison ordeal.

“Hey, babe.” Ethan kissed her back. “Got some good news for ya.”

“Oh? What’s up.” Lex raised her eyebrows. 

“Well, 3 things. 1, I finished that godforsaken Frankencar, so I won’t be coming home so late anymore.” He started. “2, since I finished the car, I was finally able to say Sayo-fucking-nara to that psycho bitch Allison. And 3,” He leaned in and whispered the amount of the bonus in her ear. Lex’s jaw dropped.

“Holy  _ shit _ Ethan!” She tackled him in a tight hug, nearly knocking him over. “That’s fucking amazing.” She pulled him into a much deeper kiss, which Ethan returned with just as much passion. But before they could go any further, a small voice interrupted them.

“Ethan? You’re home.” Hannah said shyly. 

“Yup. How ya doin Banana?” Ethan leaned down to be more level with her. “From now on, I won’t be coming home as late. So I’ll have more time to spend with you.” He smiled gently. “I’ll be there to tuck you in again.”

“And have you burn my tea again? Bleh!” Hannah stuck out her tongue playfully, then ran into Ethan’s outstretched arms. “I’m glad you’re back.” She murmured.

“I’m glad too.” He gave the top of her head a small smooch. “By the way, I think I’m getting better at making tea. You’re just picky.”

“You can think that. Doesn’t mean it’s true.” Hannah joked. 

“Umm, I’m an adult. Adults are  _ never  _ wrong.” Ethan shot back, though he couldn’t even make it out without smiling. 

“Bullshit.” Lex snorted. Hannah nodded in agreement.

“Ok, true. Shitty adults are wrong 90% of the time. But I am an adult compared to you, Banana. I’m basically 20- Lex, I don’t even need to turn around to know you’re laughing. Fucking cut it out.” 

“You’re not 20. That’s why I’m laughing. You are  _ so _ dead set on being 20.” Lex snickered. 

“It’s just around the corner!”

“No, it’s 36 days away. You’re still 19 Eth.” 

“For now.”

“Yes, for now. That’s how time works. You’re 19 for now, and will be 20 later. Just like how I’m 18 for now and will be 19 in a couple months. But now means today. And today, you’re 19.” Lex sighed in exasperation, though the slight smile on her face showed she wasn’t truly angry. 

“Yeah, well–” Ethan was cut off by a soft giggle. Lex and Ethan turned to see Hannah laughing quietly with her hand over her mouth. 

“I’ve missed this.” She said between little giggles. “These stupid arguments. They’re funny.” 

“What, are you laughing at us, punk? Huh?” Ethan ruffled her hair, making her squeak.

“Yeah, I am.” Hannah replied with a cheeky grin, batting Ethan’s hands away. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“This.” Suddenly Ethan dove down and began to tickle Hannah’s sides, drawing surprised yet happy peals of laughter from her. Lex watched in the background, laughing a bit herself and seriously wishing she had her phone on her to film this. All the noise was probably disturbing the neighbours, but none of the Fosters really cared, instead simply relishing in the fun family time that had become so scarce recently. 

Eventually Hannah grew tired of squirming around and tapped Ethan’s wrist with two fingers, to which he immediately drew back with his hands up. It was a little signal their family had- if Hannah tapped their wrist, they would stop touching her. It wasn’t that Hannah was necessarily anti physical affection or disliked being touched; she in fact very much liked comforting hugs from her older sister or brother. But sometimes it was a little too much, or maybe she just wasn’t in the mood. They both respected her feelings and personal space, and that mutual respect made them even closer as a family.

Before he could say anything, Ethan’s stomach grumbled loudly. “Oh jeez. You didn’t eat dinner without me, did you?” He patted his belly. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was.” 

“If you want, we can make bean and cheese burritos. We haven’t had those in a while.” Lex offered. “I went shopping today. We have the ingredients.”

“Fuck yeah.” Ethan wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed. “Thanks babe.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Time to get a-cookin’.”

* * *

“Man, that was good.” Ethan sat back in his chair. “Compliments to the chef.” 

“Yeah, that was good.” Hannah echoed. “Thanks Lex.” 

“It was just some burritos.” Lex shrugged, but looked very pleased at the praise. “Nothing much.” 

“I think I’m gonna take a shower after this. Maybe stay up for a longer, then smack the stack.” He stretched and yawned. Lex’s eyes glinted, but she didn’t say anything. 

Hannah yawned as well. “Tired?” Lex asked. Hannah nodded. 

“It’s a little before your usual bedtime,” Ethan glanced at the wall clock, “but hey, if you’re tired then you’re tired. You want me to make you some tea?”

“Maybe in a few minutes. Try your best not to burn it this time.” Hannah offered Ethan a sly smile, who rolled his eyes in turn. 

“You’re being real snarky tonight, you know that?” Ethan said, taking their plates and washing them in the sink. While they usually used cheap paper plates, on a night like this Lex allowed them to use some of their few actual plastic plates. 

“...Are you mad?” Hannah was suddenly self-conscious and tentative. 

“Nah. I’m not mad.” Ethan gave her a comforting half-smile. “I’m just teasing ya.”

“Me too.” She smiled back softly. 

“You guys are fucking cute. I’m gonna go have a cigarette.” Lex stood up, not bothering to push her chair in. “Be back in 15.” 

* * *

After brewing some tea and bidding Hannah goodnight, Ethan was more than ready to take a much wanted shower. Taking a shower always helped him relax, and he especially liked showering before bed. 

_ Too bad the shower here is so damn small.  _ Ethan thought to himself as he pulled off his shirt and threw it onto the bathroom floor.  _ I’ve been wanting to try shower sex. The only time we showered together was when Lex was high out of her mind and couldn’t take a shower by herself. That wasn’t sexy. I just hope that if we do end up doing it I don’t slip and fall. After all, bodies are slippery when wet. Heh. Wet. We’ll be wet in multiple places, that’s for sure. ...Christ that was bad. _

He was ripped away from his dirty thoughts by a low wolf whistle. “Hot damn.” Lex leaned against the bathroom doorframe, casually observing her boyfriend stripping with a satisfied smirk on her face. 

“Jesus Lex, you scared me.” Ethan put his hand over his beating heart and sighed. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“Sorry. I was just admiring the view. Didn’t wanna interrupt you.” Lex bit her lip. “Please Ethan, do continue.” 

He scoffed and shook his head to himself, but unzipped his pants. Damn, and she says  _ he’s  _ the one who’s horny all the time? Well, true, but right now the look in Lex’s eyes was one of pure thirst. 

“Soooo I was thinking,” Lex shifted her weight to the other leg and crossed her arms over her chest, “maybe in like an hour, we can go to the car together? If you catch my drift. Cuz this night especially,” Ethan discarded his pants in a heap next to his shirt, “deserves celebration, dontcha think?” 

“Right there with ya babe.” He replied as he pulled off his socks. “I was gonna ask the same thing myself.” 

“Good. I’ll let you take your shower and clean yourself up. Oh, and P.S? Brush your teeth. It’d suck to have burrito breath for what we’re about to do.” Lex winked. There was a hair tie on her wrist and something blue sticking out of her pants pocket. Interesting. “See you.” She waved goodbye, then quietly shut the bathroom door. 

Ethan ran his fingers through his hair, still staring at the door even though Lex had left. Fuck, that girl will be the death of him. He looked down at his underwear, and groaned. “A little early, buddy.” He grumbled. “Plenty of time for that later.” 

* * *

“Oh  _ fuck.  _ Fucking hell, Eth…”

“Yeah. Me too.”

It didn’t even take 5 minutes upon arriving to the car before both Ethan and Lex were half-naked on top of each other, making out like it was the end of the fucking world and they were allowed one last kiss before they died. 

Lex was spread wide open, with her left leg hitched far up Ethan’s back, and the other lying loosely off the edge of the backseat. Ethan was situated in between her legs, pressing himself against her and  _ slloowlllyy _ moving his hips. Sometimes he gyrated them in small circles. Sometimes he made quick little jerks. And sometimes he made long, deliberate thrusts upwards from base to top. Though they were both wearing underwear, that only increased the friction and drove them even madder. 

“Shit. I fucking love you, Ethan.” Lex managed to get out between many sloppy, wet, passionate kisses. She ran her clipped nails down Ethan’s naked spine, and basked in the glory of making her boyfriend moan her name. 

“Love you more, babe.” He squeezed her hand one, two, three times. Lex squeezed his hand back harder.

Suddenly, a switch flipped. Lex pulled Ethan down and flipped him over, then straddled his waist. She quite liked seeing the surprised then turned-on look in his eyes. She really needed to do this more often. 

“I really did miss you, ya know.” Lex smoothed a hand down Ethan’s chest, and leaned down to press kisses to his neck. “Talking with you, spending time with you… hell, even eating with you.”

“Yeah, eating…” Ethan repeated, eyes panning down to Lex’s bottom half. Her strong thighs squeezed his hips, causing him to inhale sharply. He glanced up at her face and saw her smirk. She knew what she was doing to him, and she sure as hell was fucking enjoying it. “I like eating y– uh, eating with you too.” 

Lex snorted. “Subtle, Eth.” She stopped touching Ethan for a second to put her hair up in a bun. Ethan propped himself up on his elbows, but she pushed him back down. “No, no, get back down. You don’t have to do anything right now.” 

“Fuck, I like this.” Ethan breathed, intently watching Lex’s hands as she trailed over his muscular stomach, down to his sharp Adonis belt, finally arriving at the band of his short low rise briefs. She moved slower than a snail’s pace and kept her touches light, but that didn’t make it any less hot to him. In fact, he found it incredibly hot. At times he felt himself becoming impatient, and had the urge to grab her and press her close and just fucking do it already, but no. It was her turn tonight. And if she wanted to take it slow, then so be it. 

“So, since tonight is a special night, I was thinking we could maybe do something we haven’t done in a while.” Lex suggested. She snapped the band of Ethan’s underwear playfully, her grin growing as he hissed through his teeth. “It’s been a couple of months since we’ve done it, but I think you’ll remember how to do it just fine.” 

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“Do you want me to keep your jacket on or off? I mean, you’ll only be seeing the back of me anyways.” Lex asked, ignoring his question. 

A little lightbulb went off in Ethan’s head. 

_ Ooohhh _ .

“Uh- y-yeah. Keep it on.” He stammered, completely flustered. 

“Damn, I’m glad I found out about you having a thing for me in your jacket.” Lex said, rolling up the sleeves. “It’s… I dunno, cute somehow.”

“ _ Hey!  _ I am  _ not  _ cute!”

“Ok, maybe that wasn’t the right word.” She acquiesced. “Still, I like it.” She gave him one last long kiss, before turning around and straddling his chest backward. “You ready to do this?”

“Oh  _ fuck  _ yes.” They both removed their last article of clothing and tossed it on the ground. “Love you, babe.”

“Love you too, Ethan.”

* * *

“Thanks for bringing condoms, babe. I totally forgot them in our room. That would have been awkward if we went really far and I had to go back and get some.” Ethan laughed self-consciously. “You brought 3 with you, right? So we have one left.” 

“Yeah. I bought a few new packs today. The cashier got totally embarrassed when he scanned ‘em. The dweeb was probably jealous. From the looks of him, he most likely never got laid at all.” Lex blew a cloud of smoke out the window. 

“God, remember our first time? Right in this very car, and,” she checked the clock, “around this time too. That was so long ago.”

“Not only was it our first time, but it was also  _ your  _ first time as well.” Ethan booped Lex’s nose, who in turn wrinkled it adorably.

“Man, when you found out… The look on your face was actually pretty funny, looking back on it.” She took another long drag from her cigarette. “You were like that gif of the blinking white guy.”

Ethan shrugged. “Hey, I was surprised. You were hot enough that I thought you already got some. I mean, you knew how to kiss really well, so I just assumed that you had gone farther as well.” He smooched Lex on the cheek. “But I was honored to be your first time. Really. And it was good for you, right?” He squeezed her waist affectionately.

“Yeah. Absolutely.” She gave him a short kiss. “It’s almost funny hearing so many girls complaining ‘ohh my first time sucked and it hurt’ but I can’t relate. You actually made sure I was comfortable and didn’t just tear into me.” She kissed him again, a bit longer this time. 

“Wait... were you planning on having sex with me that night? I mean, you already had the condom ready in the glovebox. Plus I think I saw some KY in the back, though we didn’t end up using it. And we were parked in a backroad in the middle of who-fucking-knows-where.” Lex tapped the last of her cigarette out. “I’m not angry, just curious.”

“Nah. It was just a regular makeout session that escalated.” Ethan took out his own cigarette and lit it. “I didn’t know exactly when we were going to fuck. I just figured it’d happen naturally. And I bought that shit when we first started dating, just in case. Thank God I did.” He rolled down his window. The night air was cooler than a week ago, despite it still being California summer. It felt amazing on his overheated skin. 

“No kidding. Sorry babe, but I don’t think I’d allow my first time to be bareback.” Lex laughed and shook her head. 

“Oh, don’t worry, me neither. Definitely not.” Ethan leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, letting curls of wispy smoke unfurl from his nose. 

Lex flipped down the sun visor to inspect her tousled hair in the mirror. “You know, my hair still hurts from when you pulled it too hard. And my ass hurts a little too. Wouldn’t be surprised if there was a mark there.”

Ethan’s eyes snapped open and he shot up. “I said I’m sorry about your hair, but I didn’t know that your butt hurts too! Shit, I’m so sorry.” He immediately rushed to her side. “Are you ok? Can you walk? Fuck, do you need me to get some ice? I think there’s an ice machine in the lobby. I can go get some right now if you’d like. Just lemme get my pants on and I’ll–” He was cut off by a soft kiss from Lex.

“I’m fine. It’s not that bad.” She reassured him gently. “You just went a little rough.”

“You know I don’t like hurting you.”

“I know, I know. Honestly, I’m glad you’re not some weird sadist who gets off on hurting people. But seriously, you didn’t really hurt me badly. It’s ok.” She gently kissed his hand. “I gotta admit though, it’s sorta cute when you get all worried like this. You’re like a mother hen freaking out or some shit.”

Lex ran her thumb over his cheek. “And yes, I can walk fine, Eth. I’ve had worse.” 

“Wha– when??” 

“Remember after our date in the mountains a couple months back? Hannah kept asking me why I was limping for a couple of days afterward. And what was up with all the bruises on my thighs and hips. I had trouble coming up with an excuse for that one.” They both chuckled at the memory. 

“Yeah well, 5 rounds will do that to ya. I was exhausted too.” Ethan kissed Lex’s sore head lightly. “Do you regret it though?”

“Oh  _ hell  _ no. Despite the… unfortunate side effects, I had a ton of fun.” Slowly Lex crawled over to the driver’s seat, and plopped herself in Ethan’s lap. 

“Speaking of which, you wanna go on another one?”

“Huh?”

“Another date. I don’t mean something as wild as last time. More like just a simple afternoon date. Maybe tomorrow. Walk around town, eat at a cute cafe, that sort of thing. Nothing crazy.” Ethan said, stroking the nape of Lex’s neck carefully. “We have the money to do it from my bonus. We’ll just go to the bank tomorrow, cash the check, and hit the town. Is that the phrase? ‘Hit the town’?”

“Wooo, finally, you got a phrase correct. Congrats.” Lex said sarcastically, pecking him on the check. 

“Are you making fun of me, Miss Lex Foster?” Ethan replied in a fake stern voice. “Now that’s not very fucking nice.” 

“Oh noooo, what are you gonna do to meee?” Lex drawled, rolling her eyes. “I’m shaking in my custom baby seal leather boots.”

“What– wait, did you just make a Megamind reference?” 

“Hell yeah I did. Wanna watch it some time?”

“Uh, of fucking course I want to. It’s fucking Megamind.” 

Lex snorted and rested her head against Ethan’s neck. “I think we’re getting delirious. We should get some sleep.”

“I know, but I don’t wanna move. I’m comfortable. Do we have to go back to our room?” Ethan groaned. “Why can’t we just sleep in the car?”

“Because if Hannah wakes up before us, she’ll freak out when she sees we’re both gone. And Hannah can be really hard to calm down sometimes.” Lex reasoned. 

“Fine, fine.” Ethan grumbled. “But I wanna cuddle a little more.” He pulled her in closer, and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“I can deal with that.” Lex kissed the side of his neck chastely. She snuggled up to him, letting her arms lay on his chest while she mumbled drowsy adorations into his ear.

(They did end up falling asleep in the car, peacefully entwined together with their slumbering hearts beating as one. 

A ray from the newly-risen sun shone right onto Lex’s eye, rudely waking her from her relaxed sleep. She grunted and recoiled at the light, causing her to accidentally headbutt Ethan in his chin, rudely waking him as well. 

Upon seeing that it was morning they both rushed to their room, luckily finding Hannah to still be asleep to their relief. Yet this would only be the beginning of their whirlwind day that was yet to come.)

* * *

Up until mid-afternoon, everything was going swimmingly; Ethan and Lex both withdrew about $200 in cash each from Ethan’s bonus, though that was barely a fraction of the original number. They were on a simple afternoon date with nothing fancy or special; just walking around hand in hand was enough for them. This was the most laid back either of them had felt in a long ass time. They didn’t have much time for such dates recently, so this was an extra special treat for them. 

But of course, all good things must come to an end.

There was a small ice cream parlor a few miles out from the main strip mall that was always packed on hot summer days. The ice cream was cheap yet oh-so-delicious, so naturally the couple stopped by to find relief from the midday heat. Ethan was eating his ice cream and quietly chatting with Lex when he glanced out the window. The sight made his eyes widen, and he dropped his spoon with a soft clatter.

“What in the fuck?” He mumbled, leaning forward and squinting. “Oh no…”

“What? Ethan, are you ok?” Lex’s eyebrows furrow _ e _ d in concern. “What is it?” She turned around in her chair to look out the window.

“What are you looking….. oh, you’ve  _ got  _ to be fucking  _ kidding me. _ ” 

Across the parking lot, Allison sat in her new Frankencar, staring intently at Ethan. As soon as she realised she had been spotted she ducked her head, but the damage had already been done. She had been caught.

“You think she followed us?” Lex asked hesitantly. “Or is this just a coincidence?”

“No, she definitely followed us. You really think she would come to a place like this by herself? No fucking way.” Ethan bit his lip. “Shit.” 

“What should we do? Maybe we should just leave. Or maybe she’ll just go away on her own.” Lex suggested.

“Let’s just finish our ice cream and split. I don’t wanna have to interact with her if we don’t have to.” They both hurriedly finished their food and left, pointedly not making eye contact with Allison.

“Can you see if she’s following us?” Ethan pressed. Lex looked behind them and yep, there was Allison’s shiny ass car, trailing after them.

Lex groaned. “Yep, she is. The fuck does she want? She already got her stupid Frankencar- uh, no offense, Eth.” 

“None taken.” He grumbled, and gripped the wheel harder. “She’s so far gone that she probably thinks that if she fucking harasses me enough, I’ll leave you for her and she can have her perfect little fucking bad boy fantasy. Bull-fucking-shit.” He punctuated his rant by punching the gas pedal, causing them to speed up to at least 15 miles over the speed limit. “That’s never going to happen. Not in a million years. I don’t give a fuck how hot or rich she is. I’ve already got an amazing girlfriend.” He reached over and squeezed Lex’s hand one, two, three times. 

“A 3 versus a 10, huh?” Lex murmured, looking out the window. 

Ethan screeched to a stop at a red light. (Thank god for seatbelts, or both of them would have a nice red mark on their foreheads from hitting the dashboard.) “Babe, are you seriously thinking about that? That’s just some stupid shit she said to make you mad. Don’t let it get to you.” He kissed Lex’s forehead. “Also, I think she got those numbers mixed up.  _ You’re  _ the 10, and  _ she’s  _ the 3.” 

Lex raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

“Well, I don’t like rating women by their looks. They’re people, not objects.” As the light turned green he stomped on the gas and zipped down the streets. “But yeah. You top her in every way. So don’t worry about it.” 

Lex pursed her lips but nodded. “Fine. Quick question, where the hell are we going? She’s still behind us, by the way.” 

“Fuck if I know.”

“Great.” 

Ethan wove in and out of streets in no particular direction, with Lex checking out of the back to see if Allison was still following (unfortunately she was) every few minutes. After 15 minutes of random detours, Ethan finally pulled into a parking garage and parked. 

“Ooook, we’re in a garage now. May I ask why we’re in a garage?” Lex pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“I’ve decided. We’re gonna continue on our date.” Ethan said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

Lex blinked at him blankly. “What? Even with Stalkerella still going after us?”

“Yeah. I’ve got a plan though.”

“Oh, do tell.” 

“We’re just gonna walk around like normal. And if she comes within earshot- which she will, because she’s not exactly fucking subtle- we say crazy shit to scare her away. Shit talk her. Say things that’ll gross her out. Eventually she’ll get fed up and fuck off.” Ethan explained. “If we keep at it enough, she’ll leave and we can continue our date in peace. It’ll work out, Lex.”

She crossed her arms. “Uh-huh. Listen babe, I know that I don’t know Miss Beverly Hills as well as you do, but something tells me it’s gonna take a little more than just saying ‘aLLiSoN’s A fUcKiNg BiTcH” really loudly to scare her off.” 

“...Alright, fair.  _ But _ it’ll feel good saying it out loud and having her hear it.” Ethan pointed out. “Since she’s persistent, we might have to be a little… uh, harsh. Desperate times call for measures.” He shrugged. 

“Ugh, fine. Do you have a certain destination in mind or are we going to just walk around aimlessly?” Lex dug around in the glovebox for some Altoids, then popped one in her mouth. “Want some?” They always had Altoids on hand, both for freshening up their breath after a cigarette, and to clear the taste of… um, various interesting things. 

“Sure.” Ethan took 2 from her. “I do have a destination in mind actually. There’s a little cafe on the beachfront. But I wanna wander around the nearby strip mall first. Who knows, there might be some nice things to get.” He kissed the top of her head. “And we don’t need to do the shit-talking thing unless she’s really close, k? Other than that, it’ll just be a normal date.” 

Lex nodded, and leaned in for a kiss, which Ethan gladly indulged her. But now was not the time to really go at it, not in broad daylight anyways. Maybe later. ...Definitely later. 

As they parted from the kiss, Ethan peeked up at the rearview mirror, and to his dismay saw Allison’s car parked conspicuously in the corner of the garage. “Ugh, is she even trying to be sneaky, or is she just that stupid?”

“Both, probably.” Lex sighed. “Whatever. Let’s just go already.”

* * *

“Wow, I’m sure glad I’ve finally gotten that BITCH ALLISON off my back, don’t you agree babe?”

“Yeah. I mean, all she did was BOTHER YOU even though you already had ME, your GIRLFRIEND.” 

“Yep. And I am so lucky that I NEVER have to deal with her EVER AGAIN, and can just spend time with ONLY YOU, Lexie.”

Subtlety was not their strong point. 

“Do you think she can hear us?” Lex said in a hushed voice.

“Pretty sure the entire block can hear us, babe.” Ethan replied. “But it’s more about getting the message than hearing the message, ya know?”

“Well she’s been trailing us for 15 minutes now even with us shit-talking her louder than a fucking foghorn. So either our least favourite uptown girl is fucking deaf or her brain really is too small to understand what the fuck we’re saying.” Lex glanced back at Allison who was still fucking following them 5 feet away. Having your hair up in a ponytail sprayed with so much hairspray that it ripped a mile-wide hole into the poor ozone layer and wearing Gucci sunglasses is not an adequate disguise, Allison. She wouldn’t make a very good private eye, that’s for goddamn sure. 

“Maybe… maybe we should take a different approach.” Ethan leaned in close. “But you might not like it.” 

“Fuck it. What is it?”

“You know how she freaked out when you told her that you sometimes top?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m thinking maybe if we talk about our sex life she’ll leave us alone.”

Lex did a double-take. “ _ What? _ ” 

“We don’t have to be accurate. We can make some random shit up if you want. Just something to drive her away.” He assured her. “And if you feel uncomfortable, we can stop. That sound alright with you, babe?” 

Lex sighed. “Fine. I don’t have any other ideas other than telling her to fuck off, but I’ve already done that and it didn’t do shit.” 

“Ok, here we go.” Ethan looked around- not that many people around, thank god- then cleared his throat and said, “Maannn, the things we did last night… I had NO idea you were such a FREAK, babe.”

Lex gave him a  _ Are you fucking serious?  _ look, but nodded hard enough for Allison to see 5 feet away and raised her voice as well. “Yeah well that’s what happens when you let ME, a GIRL in charge.” 

She mouthed “ _ This is so fucking stupid.”  _ to Ethan, who mouthed “ _ I know, sorry.”  _ back. 

“I’m SO glad we did some of that KINKY SHIT you had in your diary!” Ethan exclaimed and squeezed her waist. He heard a sharp gasp behind him.  _ Gotcha.  _

Lex’s eyes widened and she grabbed his arm. “You read my fucking diary?!!?!” She whisper-shouted in horror.

Ethan blinked. “What? No. I was just saying that. You have a diary?”

Lex looked like the soul left her body. 

“N-no I don’t. I don’t have a diary. Who has a diary anymore? That’s some middle school girl shit.” She chuckled nervously, not making eye contact with him. “You must have misheard me.”

“No I fucking did not. You actually have a fucking diary? Lex oh my god.” He was trying very hard not to crack up.

“No I don’t. Shut the fuck up.” Her face was extremely red. “Stop fucking laughing at me or I swear to god–”

“I’m not laughing at you!” Ethan insisted, while totally laughing at her.

In their little quibble, neither noticed Allison stop, sigh, and walk away.

* * *

“By Jove Watson I think we’ve succeeded. We’ve thrown the bitch off our trail. Case closed.” Lex leaned back in her chair, punctuating her awful British accent with a loud slurp from her smoothie. 

“What does ‘by Jove’ mean?” Ethan tilted his head. “Nice accent, by the way.”

“Uh, I dunno. It’s something Sherlock Holmes says. I think. Or at least that said it back then in the ye olde days.” She shrugged. “You know, the detective? And he’s got his sidekick Watson.”

“Oh! Yeah, ok. Wait, why are  _ you  _ Sherlock and  _ I’m  _ Watson?” He narrowed his eyes. “Not fair.”

“Yeah well that’s what happens when you let ME, a GIRL in charge, Ethan.” She repeated her earlier words with a smirk. 

Ethan rolled his eyes and scoffed, but squeezed her hand one, two, three times under the table. 

“Bonus that we scored an outdoor table. You can even smell the beach air.” Lex breathed in the salty air deeply. “Dunno why this place doesn’t have more business. It’s food is cheap and great. I would have thought it’d be packed, but there’s barely anybody here.” True to her words, there were only 3 or 4 other patrons seated outside. Not that Lex or Ethan minded; they much preferred privacy, especially on dates. 

“Nothing wrong with that. That just means that we can relax—”

**_SMACK!_ **

Ethan’s head whipped to the side. The quiet murmur of the patrons’ conversations went dead silent. The stares stung almost as much as his cheek did. Time slowed down, and his ears rang and crackled with white noise. But the shock was way worse than the slap itself. 

“You suck.” Allison spat. “I am  _ so _ done with this.” 

Ethan clutched his throbbing cheek and tried to think of a coherent response. Where in the fuck did she come from, and why was she doing this? Christ, and they were  _ this  _ close to getting rid of her but nope, the universe decided it'd be fun to fuck up their day. Just their fucking luck. 

“Did you just slap my fucking boyfriend?” Lex growled before Ethan could say anything. “Are you insane?” 

“No, I’m not. I’m the perfectly reasonable one here.” Allison put her hands on her hips with a pout. “He deserved it.”

“Wait… so you slapped me because I wouldn’t break up with my girlfriend to get with you? You physically hurt me because I didn't wanna cheat on you with the girl I love?” Ethan straightened back up to look at the infuriated valley brat in front of him. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s not my fault you were blind to something better.” She crossed her fake tan arms over her buxom chest. “Obviously. It’s not my fault you can’t take hints that I want to be with you.” She flipped her shiny ponytail.

“Can’t take hints?” Ethan echoed, voice high with disbelief. “ _ I  _ can’t take hints? More like  _ you _ can’t take hints! Fuck hints, I’ve told you to your face that I’m not interested in being with you. I know that with your money and looks you can’t even fathom getting rejected since all the poor bastards you’ve pursued probably drooled over you but there’s a first time for everything!”

“I just don’t get why you don’t want me though!” Allison whined. “We’d be a better couple than you and  _ her! _ ” Lex looked like she was 2 seconds away from pouncing on her, and Ethan was quite tempted to just let her. 

Ethan rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, trying to think of a proper reply. “Despite me telling you over and over and over again that I have a girlfriend and that I wasn’t into you,” he started, “you sexually harassed me, stalked me, was a bitch to my girlfriend, and all sorts of other stuff. I was only being nice to you because you were my client at work. But since this is outside of work and I don’t have to put up with your shit anymore, lemme put it bluntly: fuck off and leave me alone you creep.” 

There was a small  _ oooo _ behind him from another customer, but he paid it no mind. 

“‘Sexually harassed’ you? Ha! No I didn’t. Boys can’t be sexually harassed.” Allison clucked her tongue.

“Yes you fucking did. You’ve touched my chest multiple times when I’m clearly uncomfortable, groped my muscles, kissed my cheek without my consent, etc.” Ethan pointed out. Lex bristled beside him. Oh yeah, she didn’t know about the cheek kiss thing. Oops. If she didn’t want to deck Allison before, she definitely did now. “Imagine if a guy did that to a girl, but instead of groping her arms he groped her butt. People would freak out! But since it’s girl on guy it’s suddenly fine? Bullshit. That’s dumbass double standards.” He crossed his arms over his chest, mirroring her. “I’m not taking your shit anymore, Allison. So just go away. I’m fucking tired of all this.” 

“Ugh, why are you so pissy at me?” Allison complained. “What are you gonna do if I don’t leave, punch me?”

“No, I don't punch girls.” 

She tightened her hands into fists. “Oh come on! Earlier you were going on about double standards, but now you say this shit? That's sexist. What a fucking hypocrite.” 

“Would you prefer him to punch you in the fucking face?” Lex narrowed her eyes.

Allison paled. “...No.” 

“Exactly. I, however, have no qualms about punching girls. So if you wanna get physical, square up bitch.” Lex cracked her knuckles threateningly. That finally made Allison back up a little. However Ethan threw his arm in front of Lex to stop her from getting up.

“Babe, I agree with what you’re saying but you can’t punch her. Not in public. We could get arrested, and then what would happen to Hannah?” He whispered to Lex. “Though if we were in private I’d totally let you have a go at her.” 

“Fine.” Lex acceded through gritted teeth, and sat back down. “Only because of Hannah, though.” 

“What if I said yes- which isn’t going to happen-, huh? Knowing you, you’d still treat me like garbage. Maybe it’s because you’re so delusional that you don’t realise it, but I know you only want me for my physical body, not who I am as a person. I’ve already got somebody who loves all parts of me,” He kissed Lex’s hand, “and that’s all I need. I’m not interested in an only physical relationship. So go away. I fucking mean it. Don’t follow me, don’t try to contact me, don’t talk to me, don’t interact with me ever again. Got it?”

Allison opened her fat mouth, but a voice interrupted her. “Yeah, leave him alone!” One of the patrons yelled at her. The other people at his table nodded in agreement. “You need to back off, lady.”

“This doesn’t fucking concern you, you fucking loser.” Allison snapped, and flipped him off. “Shut up and go die.” The rest of the customers glared at her or flung insults back. Now everybody was (rightfully) pissed at her.

“True, but you’re like, crazy.” The guy picked up his phone. “And if you keep threatening that dude, I’ll post the video I got of you bothering him on twitter.”

Everyone froze. For once, Lex, Ethan, and Allison felt the same emotion: Panic.

_ Oh, shit.  _

“That’s… that’s not necessary.” Ethan said slowly. While it would be satisfying to see Allison get clowned, Ethan could potentially lose his job if his boss saw it. And who knows what Mr. Allen would do. “You uh… you don’t have to do that.”

Allison’s face went beet red. She made a furious gurgling noise that’s fucking impossible to describe before stomping her foot and snapping, “Alright, alright. You fucking win. I’ll stop.” She spat at Ethan’s feet, who thankfully dodged. “But you’ll fucking regret this, Ethan Green.” She stormed off, the sound of her heels clacking fading into the distance.

There was a beat of silence before Lex said, “‘You’ll regret this’? What is she, a cartoon villain? And how did she know your last name?”

Ethan shrugged. “Beats me. She’s a stalker. They know that kind of shit, I guess.” 

He ran a hand over his face. “Sorry everyone. That was unexpected.” He turned to the patron. “Thanks for the support. But seriously man, do  _ not _ post that video. Her dad’s rich and I could get fired from my job. Just delete it.” 

“Ok, I won’t.” The guy showed Ethan his phone and deleted the video. “Really hope she leaves you alone for good. I dunno how long she’s been after you, but she seems crazy. Good luck man.” 

Ethan sighed. “Yeah. I hope she leaves me alone too.” Lex squeezed his hand one, two, three times, and kissed his cheek. The joy of at long last getting rid of that psycho rich bitch mitigated any pain from his pink cheek, and he felt himself truly relax.

(And to everyone’s relief, Allison finally, _fucking_ _finally_ never came back.) 

* * *

“Fucking cheers.” 

Lex and Ethan bumped their cigarettes together. It had been a week, and Allison had not shown her fake ass cake face once. Since Lex had been trying to quit her drinking habit, they had to settle for a celebratory smoke instead of a celebratory drink. 

“Hey Eth, your birthday’s coming up soon right? It’s only 4 weeks away. You’re basically 20.” Lex hipbumped Ethan playfully. 

Ethan’s face lit up. “Hell yeah I am. I will no longer be a horny teenager. I’ll be a horny adult!” He squeezed Lex’s hip. “But you’ve still got 2 years. So I’ll be an adult with a teenage girlfriend. Wow.”

“Ooh, scandalous.” Lex rolled her eyes. Ethan tried to poke her cheek, but she snapped her teeth at him. “Oh, bite me.” 

“Don’t tempt me.” Ethan replied smoothly, moving his hand a little lower. 

“Christ Ethan, would it kill you to be more subtle?” Lex teased, pulling him into a kiss. 

“Christ Lex, would it kill you to be less fucking hot?” Ethan teased back before biting her lip. He ran his hands from her butt up her back, but a bright light stopped them in their tracks.

“There you are, you damn kids.” Hissed the old motel receptionist, shining a flashlight directly at the couple.

“Woah old man, turn off the brights!” Ethan groaned, squinting and shading Lex’s eyes. “The hell’s wrong with you?” 

“The hell’s wrong with  _ me _ ? You two sneak out every time in the dead of the night to do…  _ whatever _ , and come back stinking up the lobby with your disgusting cigarette smell!” The geezer barked irritatedly. 

“You won’t let us smoke in our room. Where are we supposed to smoke? And everyone’s asleep. So we’re not bothering anybody.” Lex pointed out, putting her cigarette back in her mouth and relighting it. “Well, except you apparently.” 

“Don’t you young people use those new electronic cigarettes that at least don’t smell so bad?” The receptionist grumbled. “Why can’t you use those instead?”

“Oh… my god.” Lex said slowly, while Ethan burst out laughing. “Are you fucking serious.” It was very hard to keep a straight face with Ethan cackling in the background. “Did this dinosaur really say that?” She murmured in disbelief to no one in particular. “You hear that Eth? We were pressured to vape by both a 20-year-old and an 80-year-old.” She leaned back on the wall and shook her head, exhaling smoke. “What has this world come to, huh? All this terrible peer pressure on impressionable young minds like ourselves. Damn shame.” 

“I am  _ not  _ 80!” The old man protested. “I am 79! ...Turning 80 in 5 weeks. But I’m still 79! You sprats should learn to respect your elders.”

“You’re basically 80, though.” Lex and Ethan said in unison, then turned to each other and hi-fived. 

“Damn kids.” The old man growled under his breath. “Bah, forget it. Just finish up and go back to your room. It’s too late at night for these shenanigans.” 

“Ooh, ‘shenanigans’ hm? How many Scrabble points is that big word?” Lex snarked. “Whatever. You heard him Ethan. He doesn’t want us urchins here.” She dropped her cigarette and crushed it under her foot. Ethan did the same. 

“But of course. So sorry about ruining your night, sir.” Ethan drawled sarcastically. He walked hand in hand with Lex back to their room. “Nighty-night, old fart.” Ethan flipped the receptionist off, grinning at the rage on his wrinkled face, then slammed the door shut. 

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck you Allison. 
> 
> No one:  
> Ethan: i'M bAsiCaLLy 20
> 
> The Fosters have little signals to communicate with Hannah, who I hc as autistic. (Not really fun fact: When I said on Tumblr I headcanon Hannah as autistic, which is a fairly popular headcanon, 4 people unfollowed me... yikes. Not a good look.)
> 
> Still, I hope you enjoyed the fic still! Love all of you. Till next time, Usagi.


End file.
